I’m really struggling with thoughts of self sabotaging my life. I miss using and the fast and fun lifestyle. But I know where it will land me. I just didn’t expect to miss it at 6 months sober. There are some days that this is so hard. It sounds so stupid to want to go backwards. I miss going to 2-3 raves a weekend and using all kinds of drugs. But I think I’m forgetting the horrible anxiety and how I couldn’t handle anything on my own. I couldn’t function. Idk I feel weak and confused tonight. I will stay sober just for tonight. I don’t have to make any decision about tomorrow right now. I need to focus about right now 
2 Likes
I agree with Ash. Living in the Right Now, getting immediate gratification for what you think you want to do is dangerous. The anxiety is awful but in this day and age with drugs, what if you didn’t wake up? It’s not worth it. YOU are worth more than any drug or good time.