So Monday i will have 8 months and so much has changed during this time. I haved literally changed everything people, places, and things. I had to walk away from my family in order to do this so i dont have anyone that is helping me through all this i am all alone. But it was a decision that i had to make for myself to serve. Iam a manger for a sober living house people come to me for or guidance. People trust me with there meds, the owner trust me to do the responsibilities and a vehicle todo house business with. But a lot of the time I think its not real, that its just in my head, that no one is can be so f--king stupid to give me these things. When all of my life i have been told that I'm not worth anything that i would never be more than a piece of sh-t and no one would care if i lived or died. I have used for 41 years i have been on my own since i was 15 and i am 55 years old and clean for 8 monthsand that is not a lot of time im just a infant in sobriety and learning how relearn everything that has been beaten in to me will not happen overnight and most of the time I feel that i don't deserve anything that as been given to me that I'm not worth any of it. But a very small part of me is grateful that someone saw something in me that i couldn't see and gave me the chance to show that I am that person i was told i would never be
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