I’ve been really thinking about what it takes in order to be okay to give so much and not expect to receive without feeling some type of tension or thought of regret, especially when being vulnerable.. what type of thoughts and ideas does it take in order to give myself selfless love by giving to others.. At least enough to not completely shut down if I can’t seem to always trust others, or myself to have peace in doing for others what I wish could be done for me without expectations? I think having this false beneficial reaction from a person is what stops me in my tracks every time.. and that disappointment is also a killer to my hope in understanding this selfless love. .
It really annoys me how simple it really is 
but we make things so harrrddddd. That really summed it up, it’s just that I can’t understand what good will come that you mentioned .. it’s obviously something internal, but what feeling is gained from doing that?? -It seems to be extremely difficult when I’m having to decide When to practice this too… - I love how you said that though… thank you very much for this. It really answered what I needed especially when you said it’s not about what is wanted but needed.