Has anyone ever had to go through the first days of being sober, while being separated from your significant other? All the other times I’ve got sober, my wife was here to support me. But, through my own fault, she cannot be here now while I go through this. This one of the toughest things I’ve ever been through. The walls scream at me with silence. Everytime I go to bed, I have the motivation to get sober. But, when it’s time to wake up, my mind crashes with the reality of her not being here. Then, its just spirals from there. I wish I never picked up again with using
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To do the work that is needed with the 12 step programs, you will need space. Space to work the program. Space to go to meetings. Space to work through everything you have done and need to do to fix yourself.
Sometimes, spending time apart can allow both of you to rebuild things much stronger.
Sometimes, you will be lonely. It's a part of the journey. With a clear head, you are not going to be able to numb yourself.
You have the opportunity to figure out and expell your inner demons now.
It takes courage to stay on this path.
It will be hard but worthwhile. You find a way to learn to love yourself again.
For me, spending time during the first 90 days at meetings helped a lot. It reconnected me to people who had been on similar paths and changed course. There are meetings almost always available online.
Maybe set a goal for at least 90 meetings in 90 days.
I learned you can not control what other people do.
Fix yourself, and the people that are meant to return into your life will come back.
I wish you well on your journey.
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Hey Kevin! I was in a (somewhat) similar situation. Shooting straight, I had to battle thru a divorce while ‘sober curious’ (aka substances are NOT good for me…). I’m also a proud Dad of 2 young kids. My road has been long (and hard) but I made it through and you can too!
You may hear a lot of ‘you need to do this for you’. I can say from experience I didn’t like that saying. However, once I realized (in my own mind…) that I wanted to be sober for me - so that I feel better mentally and physically; so that I’m able to be more present and active with my kids; so that I have more energy to go hiking and to farmers market with my dog, etc. I had to figure out my whys. One idea (if you haven’t already) is write down your whys.
You may get a lot of ideas from people in your life (and on this app), which is great! But sift thru those ideas and figure out what works for you. Best of luck!!
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Thank you for that advice!
Thank you Jason. I’m continuing to struggle with the idea of not doing it for anyone else but me