service is good
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@david482214 🤦🏼🤡 stop your whining, grow a set, take responsibility for your actions and start working on yourself. Better yet go down to Charlie St, (see Robert if you do go) it's a rehab/detox center in the city you live in, and volunteer for a few hours.
You have mentioned "I" over 13 times. You "want" all of what you mentioned in your whiney rant then you're going to have to work for it. A great way to start is by working on the inside and cleaning your internal house first. Just like all of us we had to unphuq ourselves first.
We've all been there. You can do this. If it wasn't true my long term sobriety would have been short lived.
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I can relate David. In early recovery, I was selfish and self-centered. I wanted the easy way out. It doesn't work that way. You have to put in the work and get out of self. If you got everything back immediately, it wouldn't mean anything. The work is part of the process. Some things you won't get back. I wanted "her" back too. No matter how much I got better, it was too little, too late. Years later, I met my wife. My true soul-mate. It turns out, the things that I didn't get back, were because better things were in store.
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Too little too late that hits me. The past is the past. Nothing can change it. Focusing on the problems that were, stunts the growth and change that is. You get out what you put in.
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just venting, still doing the work too and trying to step outside of myself more. "I" also hate how self centered all my thoughts are right now lol
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Try volunteering at Charlie St. It will definitely get you centered. With 37+ years of sobriety it still gets me centered when it's all about me. I wouldn't recommend it if it didn't work. It works.
Best way to get out of yourself is to help others as Michael suggested. When you're helping someone else you don't have time to dwell on your own problems. I know for myself I tend to isolate and when I isolate my brain starts to lie to me in my own voice. So sometimes I have to force myself to get out and get active. It also helps that I have a sponsor who I can rely on to call me out on my own stuff and my delusional thinking.
Thanks for venting and circling back around. Keep coming back and posting to let us know your progress is coming - no matter how painful and slow, just don't pick up, 5 minutes at a time. 
In every crisis there is an opportunity.
Higher Powered
I was in a worse predicament lost everything my place, my lady of 7yrs drinking and drugging depressed and suffering from anxiety, broke , it wasn't until I started surrendering to my higher power and praying and reading that when things start to change. If you're looking for a if you're looking for success overnight stop wasting your time we both know that's not gonna happen. Patience is the key to a successful recovery and surrendering to the most high is the only thing brought me back to life.
Its the demons trying to get you to come back stop and look at what's happening in the now good or your past if like mine a an uncontrollable shitshow