I have a difficult time setting boundaries. I worry too much about hurting someone’s feelings and have a hard time saying no when I should. Can you help me with this? Maybe give me advice on how to set boundaries and what has worked for you. I look forward to hearing back from you Thank you.
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What has helped me is just being assertive and just saying sorry I can’t or unfortunately I won’t be able to. You have to put yourself and your health especially mental health first so you may be able to do things for yourself and others in the future. Sometimes just a simple no is enough. It’s hard but the more you practice it, the easier it gets. It’s ok to set boundaries.
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Think of it like this.. A life without boundaries is a life without balance. If you'll say yes to everything then you're only pleasing people around you. Even if those people's sole intent is to use and manipulate you. If you won't learn to stand up for yourself and set strict guidelines to what you're willing to tolerate, then all you're really showing people is that you'll cave to whatever direction others want you to go. Find a voice. Do you even know what's important to you? Make a list. Mark out areas that you feel like you should never sacrifice yourself for. Mark areas that you think you should make choices on only after you weigh the outcomes. If you don't know your own boundaries, you'll never be able to set a standard for others to treat you. As the old saying goes... We teach people how to treat us. If were always agreeable, we teach people to pull us in whichever direction they want. But if we show people early on that we will stand up for what we believe in - you'll start running the wrong people off quick and early.
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