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I know it seems impossible but the longer your in the program you will learn to forgive yourself and others I drank for darn near 20 years 10 were heavy a lot of blackouts and bad decision's hurt a lot of people and family the think is after 6 months of sobority the gates of the truth hit me working with a sponsor to work the steps was a big help .
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Talk about it. The more you talk about it, the less power it has. Be kind, loving, gentle, and understanding with yourself. Treat yourself as you’d treat a friend 
with love and acceptance.
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Serenity Prayer 
I talk to my sponsor or other sober friends about it.
No matter how much time we have, a memory can come up. Focus on who you are becoming, who you are today. You have to forgive yourself and focus on becoming the best version of yourself. It is our potential to change that matters, not who we were. Just let it go.
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I actually drank (to the point of blackout) to cope with the shame and guilt I had from having been sexually abused as a child. Of course drunk me did some absolutely shameful things. So it was this weird cycle of feeling ashamed, drinking my face off and behave badly, wake up hungover, still ashamed for what happened to me when I was a child, and also ashamed of what drunk me did.
I hate when those memories start flowing. I always just stop what I’m doing at the time and change my physiology so that I can break the moment. Those things love to be fed and if given a few seconds that terror monster starts to grow and those memories are just more ways for the monster to beat us down and weaken us. It’s harder than it sounds but just keep looking forward and focus on the daily wins.