Shared in a meeting tonight how much I do want connections with others and at the exact same time I don’t. It’s so weird. I do feel on the outside a lot. I’d really like to have friends again. Maybe more down the road.
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Are you an introvert like me?
It's very difficult to express oneself in front of complete strangers, isn't it?
I remember when the secretary of my home group approached me and asked me to share as the planned guest was a no show.
I gulped, and said ok.
It was a complete shambles, but it was part of my recovery and afterwards I had a good sit and thought.
At the next meeting I showed up, did my usual service of coffee and snacks, and it was all good.
There is an understanding amongst people who know the struggle.
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Yeah I was supposed to share my story for the first time in May at a detox. An h&i NA meeting. But during the readings, a client had an alcoholic withdrawal grand mal seizure and died in front of me. He was brought back to life by medical staff. In front of me. Needless to say, I didn’t share my story that day. And I won’t be going back there. Even though they asked me too. It traumatized me. Sharing in regular meetings for 3-5 minutes is easier now for me. But ya. I’m not much of sharing type.
Uh, yeah, that is tragedy. Gawdawful and horrible.
Share in bits and pieces. Do it here. Take your time.
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I’m just really glad he lived. It put it in my face what addiction is still like out there. It was, unpleasant but I had a lot more gratitude for being alive afterwards. I thought I already had a lot of gratitude for being alive due to near death experiences last year. But there was room for more. It was an oddly humbling thing.
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that is soo traumatizing Wow!!! Lucky to be alive Take your time get a notebook and start writing this every day and yes, I find sharing what is 3 to 5 minutes easy for me as well. I’m having a hard time getting back into the meetings it’s very clicky in my area and everybody knows everybody’s business and sometimes you got to keep things to yourself, hang in there!!!
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Heather
You may or may not find this site helpful. I found it on YouTube. It's called Crappy childhood fairy. There's stuff for free and lots of information about struggles you might relate to. I don't know if it will help you. It helps me. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes it hits too close to home and I take a break... It's focused on people who had rough childhood's. It's about how our childhood post traumatic stress affects our choices... If it's helpful let me know. Peace
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