Sharing in AA - do you feel pressure by other members to say the “right” thing when you share? In a specific format - how it was, what it’s like now? I don’t mean for sharing your story, just mean in a 2-3 minute share in a meeting. There is one women’s meeting I go to and have a commitment at and I feel increasingly judged if I don’t follow the same format as the other women. I kept my shares to the solution … but am starting to build a bit of a resentment or maybe fear if I don’t get it the same way as some other women with long term sobriety. Thank you!
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If you don't feel comfortable there, find a new meeting. No sense in building up a resentment, let it go. Find a place that feels good to you, ya know? You aren't under any obligation.
I had this same kind issue with my Monday men's meeting. Well, not same situation, but it was uncomfortable. They sat around quiting Fox news nonsense, lots of Trump hats etc. I just didn't like it. And I was the coffee maker for a year.. When another agnostic meeting opened up on Mondays, I went there instead and now I make the coffee and chair there.
No sense going somewhere that bums you out. Fück being uncomfortable.
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Hi Jacqueline — I know formats can vary widely as dynamics in the rooms can as well. I am in South Jersey and we do not have any suggested format for sharing. My sponsor suggested to stay on topic if possible and send a message of hope. When I have gone off topic I say before I share is it ok if I go off topic? Speak from your heart and you cannot go wrong.
After you fulfill your commitment reevaluate if this particular meeting is right for you. Best of luck!!! Kiki
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Hey,
I’m in Jersey too. A lot further North. Been looking into maybe going to meetings here. But not totally sure where to find them and what to look for (to suit my personality). Interesting you guys talking about formats because that’s one thing I didn’t totally understand when I see listings for meetings
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Are there meetings that are more let’s say “active”. I know meetings help. But I’m talking about activities, retreats, etc. Like actual team building stuff like maybe volunteering as a team or a camping trip or whatever. Know we are adults with jobs and lives. But also know activities can counter depression
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I feel the same way 100% I am in south Jersey and there are a lot of clicky people in the room here Very small town and you get frowned upon if your not in the click of women I was to the point where asking this older gentleman like 70 to be my sponsor because of being ghosted by my last sponsor, when I had three years sober… I know it was talked about, and I reached out for help from another woman that I knew years ago, and totally disregarded me!!
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AA does get clicky and that’s why I attend different centers.
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Meetings and connections have been a big part of my recovery. I live in an area with a good amount of meetings to choose from. I love my home group. I do know of a few people that have criticized it for not being hard core or too touchy feely, and not enough meat and potatoes AA. A few guys I used to see all the time have moved on to some other meetings. I’m cool with them wanting something different, and we still get together for dinner once a month. If possible, try some other meetings, and/or go to one of the business meetings and bring up your concerns. Perhaps you will get some positive feedback and support. If not, you will know it’s time to find another group. Your recovery is your responsibility. Be sure not to use this as an excuse to stop going to meetings. I’ve made this mistake before and had a horribly painful relapse that almost cost me everything.
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Thank you so much. I will not stop going to meetings - but no one else has been willing to take my commitment and it’s going on 5 months. I like the idea of bringing it up at the next business meeting. Hope you are well.
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I hear you Luis
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Thank you for sharing tami. Did you end up finding a sponsor that is a good fit? I am lucky to have an amazing sponsor, but she just found out her husband has cancer, so it’s been hard to reach her (understandably so) and ask her about her feedback.
Use the AA meeting guide app and get to a meeting friend! I love the majority of meetings I go to - this one has been tricky because it is small in attendance and there is no other woman willing to take over my current commitment.
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Thank you Kiki! I stick on topic and do my best to share the solution. I plan on talking to my sponsor about it too…think it’s time to address it at a business meeting.
Yes to all that Taylor. Thank you for sharing. I agree 100 percent.
I am so sorry for your sponsor husband 
No I didn’t find a new sponsor yet I need too!! I was doing one on one therapy but my therapist is out on medical leave… and then they switched me to another therapist, but wanted me to go on a different day and time and I couldn’t make those because I have health issues from 2021 bad reaction to the Covid shot so I’m still deal with that and my doctors appointments come first and they I feel bad because I I get more out of 101 Therapy but I’m still searching!!!
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I completely get it. I found a women’s meeting in El Monte that I love. I found my voice in that meeting and i don’t feel pressured to say the right thing. I’ve learned how to bring that vibe to other women’s meetings too. You just have to find your voice and own it!! Speaking from your heart always wins!!
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YESSSS love your energy! Thank you so much for sharing this 
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You will find the right sponsor 🫶🏻
Regarding "cliques", honestly I've found that alot of times me being resentful about cliques was a me thing. I was being stand offish. Once I put away my RBF things got better. Then I was in the gang. This is just my personal experience.
Has anyone said anything specific to you about it? I think as long as you are sharing about the solution and not just downloading your problems, who cares? We are drunks for God's sake! No one should be judgemental if you aren't following a specific format for sharing. The meetings I attend aren't that controlling. And the people are so loving and welcoming.
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