So day 61 ish. I say it’s because I did take a swig of vodka yesterday. Here is the deal on that. I work as an estate manager for someone and they have this huge home with an equally huge bar. well for the last week on the counter in that bar were several wines and spirits including my spirit of choice, Titos vodka. well i been looking at the bottle all week like it's a demon becuz it is and remembering that back in the day i woulda taken a swig off that bitch the minute i walked in the house and prolly woulda ended up havin to replace it by the end of the week cuz it woulda been gone. anyways after day five i just got tired of looking at it and took a swig. a) i wanted it to stop having power over me and b) i wanted to see what it would be like now that i had AA in my head. so anyways i took the swig and got sick immediately. i didn't vomit but i wanted to. also i felt shitty and fuzzy and disoriented. NONE of the "wonderful" first drink euphoria. i felt sick for an hour and a half. awful. so. the good news. no desire to repeat that. and the prescence of the bottle has no power over me anymore.
and i have to say i don't know that i'm going to reset my days rn. it's my journey and i feel like resetting is only going to mope me out and i don't consider one sip a relapse. i just don't and its my choice so there it is. on another note. im still dating the sober guy. i don't know that dating someone sober is the best idea. at first i thought it was cuz i thought this is a person that can support me in my journey and understands what im going thru in early sobriety etc. but now im seeing that this is a person that is as fucked up as i am and we hav a better chance of relapsing together than keeping eachother sober -_- oh wells so there's that to deal with. anyways gonna keep on keepin. hope you are all well.
I’ve tried that 3 times. All 3 times I hated the taste and wanted to throw up. I’ve also relapsed 3 times right after I visited my friend Tito, my amigo.
Good luck Mila. 
Good afternoon Mila!!!! I understand what you’re saying and where you’re coming from. To me a drink is a drink no matter how much you drink. One swig is still a drink. At least that’s for me anyway. But it’s different for everybody. I’m glad you felt better after an hour and a half feeling sick. Myself I would’ve never taken a chance because it could’ve relapsed over it. I don’t know what you were thinking or what you were feeling at that point. But I need to say this that was a pretty stupid move. And to me sometimes people need that Toughlove to get it across to them. And as far as dating goes I would’ve never ever get into a relationship so early in sobriety. Because of everything that goes on and a relationship could also hurt you. As you’re starting to learn about how much it could hurt you and where it can take you. But once again that’s up to you. But for me I would have to tell you to get out of that relationship. It sounds like it’s not a good one at all if that’s the way that you feel about it. Don’t be afraid to be on your own. It gets better for everybody.
So good luck on your journey and I have faith in you if you don’t have faith in yourself.
Um. Thanks?
Thanks
I’m not starting my count over. I don’t consider that a relapse and that’s my decision. And I happen to be in a relationship and in early sobriety. Oh Wells. Shit happens. Life is gonna go on and I just have to cope. So that’s that
You must be honest with Yourself, if You can’t do that how can You be honest with others in Your life. It’s a big deal to not hide something like this, Your sobriety is the second most important thing in Your life, the first is Your spiritual fitness. To be spiritually fit You must be honest in every aspect of Your life, when You can do that You will feel better than You have ever felt in Your life, I can almost promise that!
Sorry hun. Reset the clock and accept how it is. Lucky that sip wasn’t laced with something else that could kill you. This disease wants you dead and will play every trick in the book to do its best to fool you into its downward spiral. Be honest and get rid of excuses. We all been there. You’ve got a whole lifetime to get those days back and much much more. Don’t beat yourself up. Just do your best and throw that guilt away. A new day is here. Grab onto it and move on…sober.
And thank you for your honesty. That’s the first step to recovery. Be safe