So I had an interesting little blip

Recovery
#1

Why: My daughter was escalating about her computer huffing and getting annoyed
-reaction: my stress went up and coupled on top of an already bad craving day, I couldn’t bring it down
-reaction: made excuse for Texas Roadhouse and then went to the liquor store and bought 4 shots

  • drank said shots in 2 hours and yes, I was numb, but didn’t even really get a good buzz, it just made me tired
  • Waited for her to shower and guzzled my white claw
  • Didn’t feel drunk, waste of calories

So, long story short, the game hasn’t changed and I’m not getting what I need from it anymore. I’m not angry at myself, I’m moving forward and can reflect here. :heart:

Still working on 5 out of 6 days sober, which is huge. I’m actually feeling better about not drinking than ever, and not hungover and my daughter didn’t notice so it went about as good as I could hope. Side note, the fact that a) I wasn’t drunk after 5 drinks and b) I was lucid enough that she DIDN’T notice is enough to tell me that my tolerance is quite high, meaning more $ and more health problems if I continue that path. F-that!

2 Likes
#2

Wow. Thank you for sharing that. Good that you confirmed that you are not getting what you want from it. Keep Reflecting on how much money you wasted. It may help you you say NO. BTW, I am also a highly functional alcoholic

#3

Yeah, figured I’d be honest about the struggle, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows but I am focused on my goals and even if I stumble I’m going to keep trying! How are you doing today?

#4

Like Pam said, that’s great that you were able to confirm it’s not working anymore. We’ve all lied to ourselves to justify why it wasn’t so bad this time. For me, I try not to think of all that I’ve wasted in the past. There can be no future trying to make a happy past. Just try to be better today than you were yesterday. Every bottom has a trap door and we’re better off not finding how low we can go.

#5

Same way I learned my addiction wasn’t for me but my addiction was Meth!!! Now I’m 3- years and 4- months clean. You can do it!!! :v:

#6

It has been a busy day but that was what I needed to get through my 5:00 trigger. I agree if I stumble, I will get back to it.