So I haven’t been on here in awhile and that’s because I have not been doing well. I’m a functioning user, on paper always looking super presentable, but I finally am in a place where I am desperate to be sober but I don’t want to be alone. I want to go get help but that would set me back with my masters degree and I’d have to start over with a new cohort. I’m getting behind in school anyway and I’m holding on for dear life. Most recently I was physically assaulted by a friend of thirteen years in a state that I’m not from- I had to find my own way home without any of my luggage (schoolwork, medications, etc.), then found out my most recent ex has put a tracking device on my car, I was literally rear ended by a school bus, I just keep falling into the same routine- something crazy happens, I feel out of control, I want to use. I have finally told one sober friend of mine that I am scared.
I know it is hard worrying about everything else but if you aren't sober you will lose everything anyways. I'm so sorry to hear about your hardships but am happy you are reaching out for help. I'll put you on the prayer list!
First, what do you anticipate will happen when you begin to detox. Whether it's alcohol or some type of drug withdrawal occurs regardless. You need professional help immediately. Is delaying your master's degree worth your life? I only say these things because I was a functioning alcoholic. No one knew I had a problem until I decided to stop drinking. Then the peanut butter hit the fan. I went into withdrawal that almost killed me. I wound up in a hospital because I had just enough strength to dial my phone and call an ambulance. Now I am whole again. You can be too. Reach out anytime you need support.