So i just got back to Oklahoma from Massachusetts because my sober living house got shut down and my out of network insurance ran out but everything happens for a reason right im trying to stay positive so i called my ex wife and she said i could come there i was wanting to anyway to see my kids they were post to be here and there not the apartment is thrashed out im trying to stay calm then on top of that over the phone she said she stayed here alone when I got here she has a 19 Year old boy toy 
fck dude be laying around like I said im a deferent person now is what I keep telling myself these thoughts are making me feel really tense and my cravings are high like its not going away my blood pumping im trying to ride it out 
anyway thank y'all for listening
Stephan, you’re not alone bro! It’s great that you wrote it out and shared your challenges! It’s a smart and healthy way to process our toxic sh!t. Keep doing.
You should also get to some local in person meetings and get connected to some sober alcoholic/addicts.
I’m here if you need to talk.
What, out of all this, can you have a positive difference on?
Day by day my dude. Accept the things happening around you and know that an addicts journey is a long bumpy one. But the pieces will slowly fall into place. Day by day.
Hey, stay focused . Tell yourself everday- every moment that is temporary. God will not give you something you can't handle. You are only there to have a place to stay. Expressing yourself is great. Now find something to keep your mind busy. Pray, breathing exercises, music, exercise, take a walk, etc. Whatever makes you happy. We are not in control of our surroundings, do not get overwhelmed. You can do this, STAY FOCUSED 
Stay focused, and stay busy! Make sure you find like-minded people in your area to connect with us maybe more than being at the apartment. And if you have feelings of picking up, make sure you connect with someone here immediately or head to a meeting, whether it’s in person or virtual.