So I just got rejected by a woman that I've

So I just got rejected by a woman that I've been talking to for 2 weeks, because I am sober. I just started dating again. Is this something you guys run into a lot?

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Keep your head up. I haven’t started the dating process yet myself but rejection sucks no matter the reason. Being sober is about caring for yourself. If they can’t appreciate that then try someone who will. Don’t go backwards is my advice. Stay strong and move on. Ya know!! Happy hunting lol

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Sometimes it scares people because they don’t know what to expect or if there are “rules” that need to be followed. It sucks but at least you know now vs. getting completely invested in a relationship.

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I'm sure this has happened to me, but not knowingly. When the question of drinking inevitably comes up on a first date, I tell them that "alcohol and I don't mix well" and I leave it at that. I've never been questioned beyond that in the early stages.

Of all the "normies" I've dated since getting sober, I've met them all through dating apps, where my sobriety is clearly stated on my profile. That way they can decide for themselves before we even talk and nobody has to waste time.

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Also, dating in recovery can be difficult. I try to keep it moving, keep my head up, and avoid bitterness.

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It’s happened to me. There could be any number of reasons. It sucks. I date online (or try) and I’ve stopped sharing so much. Now I just say I don’t drink, if they ask why I say “it was time”. If they have any sense they know what that means. Words like recovery, AA, program, rehab, etc… scare people. Try changing your wording some. After I get to know someone they learn I go to AA but it’s not the first thing out of my mouth

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Sometimes I think we’ve gotten very comfortable accepting that we have addictions (as we should, step one) and we share so much at meetings …. That we over share with others. I’m proud I’m 2.5 years clean but I don’t need to advertise it. I will always be honest but not obvious.

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It’s a struggle Because if you lie you will eventually get caught up in it And if you tell the truth people tend to stay away from addicts/ alcoholics
Normal people see us as fucked up and broken and trying to explain the disease is extremely difficult

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For me, I say that I choose not to drink because addictions and alcohol have destroyed both sides of my family and my life has been blessings ever since I stopped. Truth.

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You’ll find someone who understands and actually appreciates that you are an addict! I only want to date an addict in recovery.
She has other problems, believe me! :joy:

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Yes. I met someone who I connected with very well. Two dates in two days. I told her the 2nd night about my history (a light version) and she told me she couldn’t handle what I’m dealing with because her life coach told her that shortly afterwards. I accepted it and now take the same advice as others have shared. I don’t drink because I enjoy it better and live a healthier, happier life. I don’t lie but I just don’t share all of the details and neither do most people you start seeing. This approach has worked well for now but I haven’t dated anyone long enough to feel compelled to tell them more about my story. It is disappointing what type of judgement comes with our disease but that’s not in our control. I put my faith in my higher power and that things will eventually work out as they should.

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I should also add, people will find whatever reason they want not to move forward. It’s about them and not you. Don’t take it personal. You will be ok. You will be much better than ok.

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I’m 2mos. Sober and joined this app bc the dating option. Has anyone tried it? Where do we find sober people?

If I scare off a date by being honest I’m fine w it. My sobriety is more important than intimacy

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Don't over share in the beginning. If there is an attraction and she really likes you she will be open to hearing more of your story. If the girl just wants to party, you don't want that life anyway--regardless of how hot she is.

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Hahaha her fu©king "life coach". Dude, you dodged a bullet there. Dating someone with a "life coach" is what purgatory sounds like.

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Ha… this gave me a good laugh to start the day. And I agree. Thanks, Taylor

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Probably works better if you fill out your profile a bit more, no? :wink:

To me people l Iike that have a problem. I don't get how they don't see that someone not being able to live without an intoxicant is a problem. How many times have yall seen someone say they can't have fun if there's no booze? That is a problem.

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Her loss

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