So I wanna share my story with y’all, it’s gonna be long but my goal is to try and help that one person that thinks or feels hopeless and is on the verge of giving up….please don’t give up you are worth it no matter what’s going on!
Now that I’ve been sober 3years and 1 month. I can recall my life actions and assume why I am an addict. And will continue to be an addict!
My adopted father abused my twin and me when we were 5-10 years old Sucks saying that out loud. I remember being outta control angry as a kid and never understood why, now I do! I tried to hang myself at 14 years old because I didn’t like being around my adopted father anymore. Ended up at a inpatient Metal hospital. That’s when my twin and I were separated. He went with my mom and stayed back with adopted father. We both were diagnosed with bi-polar depression and ADHD. Prescribed Ritalin and lithium. My adopted dad said he couldn’t control the both of us because we act out. Wonder why asshole! So at 15 my adopted father dropped me off at a homeless shelter gave me $60 and said he couldn’t control me anymore. This is after non completion of a boys home (youth farm) for kids that are outta control. Ran away so many times, stole the farms van at 14 and drove it to Missouri to be with my brother and mom. So that was the beginning of my criminal record. So at 15 at a homeless shelter I had already started drinking beer for the fridge in the garage at home. So that’s what I did at the homeless shelter and ended up being the streets for almost 1 year. Totally engulfed in drug abuse and drinking. Coke and weed were what I enjoyed at 16 years old, the whole time I’m trying to get ahold of my mom to come there she said she can’t control us both, so I was left on the streets. Moved in with a guy and his mom I met a plasma center. Everything got worse at that point found out I loved ecstasy.
So this went on for years till 2000. Where I met someone who lived to drink like me. She and I would later have a kid together. She wanted to get sober I didn’t so I left in the middle of the night. And ended up at club where I met someone that sold Coke. He was from Miami and use to drive coke from Miami to missouri It progressed into my lifestyle and I honestly didn’t think I had a problem, no one could tell me any different!
I didn’t want to change but I didn’t see how bad I was getting. Stealing, from family, friends. In and outta jail.
Than 2009 I moved from living in a garage at an ex girlfriend’s house to Arizona where my twin said he has a job and place for me to live. So I made it to AZ. My mom and stepdad were in Africa on vacation he was house sitting and came clean and said he didn’t have a job for me nor a place. So I met this chick on plenty of fish and came clean with her and asked if I could rent her couch until I find my own place. We agreed and I stoped talking to my twin for many months. But I was deep into my addiction and couldn’t stop. And 3weeks of moving in with this girl she was getting evicted. My mom gave me $200 for my birthday. I disappeared and got a hotel and 20 Xanax and a bottle of jack Daniel’s. The house keeper found me on the bathroom floor with both of my wrists cut. I ended up in a psych ward for 2.5 weeks. I met my wife Michelle there Dec 2009. She was there from emotional abuse from her BF who was a cop. So we clicked and ended up staying in contact. I slowed down on everything for years until I tore my Achilles’ tendon at work. That’s where I found out I’m in love with oxys. I was in a wheelchair from 2014-2016. I contracted complex regional pain syndrome. Both of my feet swelled up like Elephantitis. Couldn’t walk for years. Abused so many pain pills. Eventually turned to speedballs hid it from my wife for so long. Couldn’t hold a job because I drank more and more. Would disappear for days and spend so much money it was insane. Our only option was to keep staying in furnished hotel extended stay places. So in September I was back on plenty of fish and met a girl that drank like I do. Moved in with her. And emailed my wife and said I just want to drink and I can’t be with you anymore. This after she tried to drink with me. She doesn’t drink, she would end up in bars with me and I thought that’s was what I wanted but I was so selfish and a complete asshole for doing that to her and letting her do it. So in September 2019 I left and moved in with that girl and that lasted all of a month as I was on unemployment and I ended up back where I was comfortable the homeless shelter. Back doing heroin and meth in a syringe. When I tell you I was one more shot of either killing myself or completely becoming a tweaker that runs the streets 100 percent of the time. November 2019 I ended up at a rehab and asked for help. I detoxed for 8 days and ended up in a 28 day inpatient program. All the while I asked my wife to please give me one more chance. She did and now we are stronger than ever and I m so happy right now with who I’ve become and continue to be. This app has saved me a few times and I wanna thank you guys for all your support.
I know this is long but I just want everyone to know my story because pretty soon I am going to start speaking at rehabs and homeless shelters because I want to let other addicts know no matter what you’ve been through your worth it and when your ready make that move to sobriety. The ppl you meet will always have your back unlike those ppl that your trying to impress because you can score drugs or have something they want so they will hang out with you.
I’ve been with my same job since February 2020 and am looking into a promotion to lead at a company that brings 275k a month. September 2020 we saved up 3k for a Jeep because we hadn’t had a car since 2014. We also saved up 1400 dollars to finally move outta the furnished hotel places to 1,196 sq ft apartment. Now we are saving to get our first house together.
Update too much resentment in this relationship and now I’m gonna be on my own. She can’t forgive me. After 3 years. But I got this!
Thank you for sharing! You have come a long way man. Everything that has happened to you was either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing and you made it back.! 
