So I went to my first meeting yesterday. I had an awful experience with it over 20 years ago and never went back. This one although online was different. I didn't speak and wasn't made to, though I was asked. They talked about spirituality last night. Anytime someone mentioned spirituality in the past, I always connected that with religion (and balked), but maybe I was more open minded last night ... I truly got that spirituality can be believing in anything higher than yourself it doesn't have to be a God as in religion. I still would like to try a different format and an all women's group, but it was a start. 
Far freakin out. An open mind will take you to new horizons. As long as you can find someone or something greater than yourself to help in times of need you’ll be fine. Always helps having that with you on this sober journey. You choose what it is. And let it have your back when struggling. Helps tremendously.
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I’m glad you had a better experience! I totally get what you are saying. I have had my issues over that same exact thing. Now that I’m older, I seem to grasp the spirituality and higher power of “my understanding” much better. Plus, I can allow others to express their belief in God, Jesus, or whatever else they believe without it running me off. Personally I believe the powerlessness, and power greater than ourselves is very misunderstood by many people. The 12 steps are set up so that literally an atheist can work thru them. Yet, some people who insist on pushing their beliefs onto newcomers. I’m happy it works for them, but they have no idea how many people they turn off. AA and the 12 steps are a spiritual program that help us live in peace with all the craziness around us…without needing substances. For many people that spiritually comes from the God they grew up with, but for so many others we needed something new and more loving, and more accepting to believe in
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I couldn't agree more. I grew up in a religious home ... well, we went once a week and it was forgotten about on the front steps of the church just as soon as it was over. I would often get into trouble for reading the Bible during church rather than paying attention to the homily. I suppose I wasn't receptive after my many observations. I used to be squeamish when the subject of God would come up. I know now that everyone can have their own version of their spiritual lead.
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Arie, if you have time, read chapter 4 of the big book of AA.
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Good job .at moving a head.
A lot of people struggle with it. Many just fake it to make it. It just has to work for you, how you idealize it is up to you. Best wishes. Remember all groups vary some so if you need to, shop around some. Please don’t get turned off by a bad experience or two.
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I struggle with organized religion, Dogmatism and people who are pushy about their religious beliefs. There is plenty of that in AA but every AA group has its own social norms so keep trying different meetings until you find one that fits you. There is also secular AA meetings. I can send you a link to a page that has one every hour of every day from all over the world. Also there are womens sobriety groups and other secular choices.
Thank you so much! I'll check that out.