So long story short my husband offered a co worker to stay with us while his parents house is rebuilt. He works with us and I do not want him here, but I didn't seem to have a choice. Thanksgiving will be 3 weeks stone sober. Yaaay me. I'm really triggered because now the roommate seems to enjoy coming home drunk. And not just like tipsy. I mean loud, mumbling, repeating questions, and won't leave me and my husband alone. He is aware thqt I importantly am working on my sobriety and I guess doesn't seem to care, and I am stuck. I sound like a whiney old fart, but I need to vent about it. We can't kick him out because "he had no where to go"... and so here we are......
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Hi Jacquie, sounds like you need to lay down some boundaries to protect your sobriety and sanity. My suggestion is to come up with some boundaries (like not being allowed to come home drunk) voice them to him, and if he can’t stick to them then there are short term rentals like hotels available. You need to do what’s best for your sobriety. You got this!
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This^^^ is such a great response! Have a “nice” discussion with your husband about this situation. Offering your house to a co-worker is an unbelievably nice thing to do. Setting down boundaries like Jenn suggests puts it back on him. You are giving him a choice…a very gracious choice. He can either abide by your reasonable request and stay, or decide to go. We all need to work on our boundaries. This is a perfect time for you to do so.
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Update....husband spoke to him this morning and told him it wasn't appropriate to come home drunk and it was triggering my anxiety, which it was( because he was so obnoxious). Told him he was not allowed to come home drunk either anymore and if he did continue to do so then he would find somewhere else to go. We are doing him a solid by letting him stay with us, so that's that. Thank you for the nudges to say something. I'm typically not a confrontational person and it's hard for me to stand up for myself.
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Focus on soberity and be away from distraction.
That's the plan but when someone living under my roof comes into it under those conditions it's not that easy, especially this early into soberity. I'm only 3 weeks in
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You don’t sound whiny at all. Being stuck around drunk people is my nightmare.
Make sure to always put your recovery in front of everything, because without it you have nothing.
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I work in a restaurant so I'm serving drinks all the time and there's no temptation, but I've noticed that being around drunk people are just really a nightmare
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Hope it works out with the expectations laid out. Happy Thanksgiving!
When I see someone drunk and acting a certain way it makes me grateful that I AM NOT that person or effecting others in that way anymore. He should adhere to your rules, first and foremost, but you look at it as an example of what you DON'T want to be seen as!
Don’t like it kick I’m out.it’s your house.lay down the law.!!