So, the only way to atone for my sins is to hurt everyone that I have loved so far.
Is it to be sent away permanently for a year or 3 years of my life for my own good?
And just to live and witness People I love and care about are no longer here whenever I get out.
I know I don't have an easy journey, but it still doesn't mean I must be sent away for years. I know right now. I am the most toxic person around people and I should be away from them. I'm better. Off just being by myself until I find Myself to purify myself.To be around my loved ones again.
I'm still struggling to get myself better. And still making right better decisions. But I got so much. I have to make up and fix a lot!
I feel where you’re coming from. Recovery can feel so hard, especially when it seems like the only way forward is to be apart from the people you care about.
You’re already making progress just by being honest about where you’re at. We all have things we regret and wish we could change, but being willing to face that and work on yourself is huge.
You’re not toxic, you’re just hurting and trying to heal. Sometimes we do need space to figure things out, but that doesn’t mean you’re meant to be alone forever. The people who love you will see your effort and your growth, even if it takes time.
You’ve got people here who get it and are rooting for you. One day at a time, man.