I'm 30 days sober and I woke up feeling horrible mentally. I'm so depressed and feel like such a failure for hurting my loved ones when I was in active addiction... especially the love of my life. I wanna work things out with him but I know he needs space to heal as do I. I just hate feeling like crying every 5 minutes ;(
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Please know that our feelings are temporary! They come and they go! We have the ability to process things as we see fit! If you plant negative seeds then you're going to get negative trees! Think positive! Try to find the positive in every situation possible! Sometimes it's just being alive! For me sometimes it's moment by moment, other times it's day by day, other times it's hour by hour. I've had to literally retrain my thought process to find the positive in every single thing! You've got this! I promise it gets easier! Just keep reaching out and surround yourself with like minded people! Praying for you! Here if ya need to chat!
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Great book.
Dopamine nation explains clearly how rewiring in recovery works.
It helped me understand my brain & emotions
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Thank you Jen! I've always been a "This too shall pass" kind of person but this is the second hardest thing to "pass" in my entire life. Hoping for strength in this tough time 
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Thanks Rob for the book recommendation! I will see if I can check this out at my local library 
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You're welcome and you're exactly right! This too shall pass! Praying for peace hope and strength for you in the coming days! Reach out any time!
Sounds like you've already made a plan with the live of your life. As he figures out things for himself, trust that you'll have a chance to talk when he's ready, and use the free time to take care of yourself.
Girl i feel that. Not tryna be insensitve but i relate so much to this. Im almost 2 years sober and still have my moments (mostly because i have major depressive disorder tbh). The first few months of sobriety and my body detoxicing was awful. And i was so mentally unstable. I did so many life changes that were very dramatic and i think as we progress on our sober journey that happens. Its normal, and something to celebrate. We cannot undo our past actions, and shame is such a terribly debilitating thing. I still am trying to work through that. As my therapist has said to me, we ALL have our regrets. We can be amazing in someones life, and toxic or damaging to another. Not only is it important to realize when we mess up, but to feel guilt is a sign that you do not want to be that way anymore, and that is a huge thing! And its a good thing because it means you want to be a better person. For me its hard not to let shame go, but its essential for our growth. Crying is not a bad thing. Its good to let it out! Its healthy and expressing yourself is crucial. Try your best to surround yourself with good supportive people outside of your s/o, friends or sober communities like us. We know what its like and can relate even if its not the exact situation. If things are very heavy to the point where you try your best and youre still crying and feeling awful everyday, i think its a good idea to seek mental health services/support. No shame in asking for help and guidance, it can be scary at first but it really does help. Wishing you peace
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Well said.
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Here to chat if you need
I know how you feel , I feel depressed, alone , I thought the hardest part was going through physical withdrawals but I was wrong. When the withdrawals were gone the mental withdrawals stayed and the still are here 4 months later. What makes it worse is I blew off all my friends that didnāt do what I did it was a secret but people arenāt stupid they see changes in you like weight loss , isolation and the āfriendsā I had while using I stay far away like the plague n blocked their #ās. I have like 2 good friends left who are married with their own lives this just adds to depression Iām the type of person who likes spending time with people I donāt like being by myself and I donāt have codependency issues. I use to love being alone but ever since I got off that garbage life is so different. And because I put off so many things in life because I chose my evil friend over anything else that was #1 to me itās like youāre in a relationship with this drug. Youāre not alone I know what you are going through so donāt feel like you are the only one out there feeling this way. Stay strong if you want to chat on here just send me a message.
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Iām going through this same thing as we speak. My sponsor told me something helpful today. What it took years to ruin, it will NOT take days to fix. You will get through to everyone you love in your life through time in sobriety. Stay strong and let your actions speak in a different way. Our words mean nothing anymore. Itās all about what we show. And for how long.
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