Sober dating sux-How others handle?

Right there with ya, 42 mother of two teenage girls. I haven’t found a decent guy in the 10 years I’ve been sober! It’s rough out there. Ugh

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I totally get where you are coming from. Between the lockdown and my decision to be sober dating has been a challenge. Going out for a drink is a fun way to meet someone but no longer an option for me. I just have to keep telling myself that no one is worth jeopardizing the progress I've made towards a happier lifestyle. I maybe single but overall in a better place mentally and physically and this will transfer over to my next relationship because I won't have any issues from drinking.

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Think I may have found a cheat code by dating a therapist. She’s obviously understanding. And actually my relationship before was also a therapist who was understanding and cool with it. So I guess maybe go in search of a hot therapist

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Totally agree! You're a catch lady! Lol

Warning, sorry for long winded story.
Had my first bad date I've ever been on last week.

I dont have my non-drinking information visible on my profile, as i dont want it to burden my ability to have fun with others drinking, and i dont want it to scare girls off before they can even get to know me.

She asked me to meet at a bar, which i obliged (i dont have an issue with the temptation, but i much rather get dinner or coffee).

5 minutes in, we explain our professions, and shes in food and beverage industryfor upscale restaurants. Basically her career and life revolves around alcohol.

She seems closed off and its immediately awkward, and she tells me i should put on my profile that i am sober so i dont make girls feel dumb for taking me to a bar.
I agreed, although i could have easily suggested coffee instead if it were a big deal. I dont mind hanging out at a bar for a while to hang with friends/date.

Anyway she went to the bathroom and when she came back and just said im gonna go and left.

Definitely sucked, although its for the best, it's really affecting my desire to keep dating right now. :man_shrugging:

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Lots of us in the same boat. I don’t know the answer.
The past couple relationships I attempted were complicated by my sobriety.

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Same here...recently went on a date and when I told him I didn't drink, he came right out and said 'why the he** not' and was offended that I wouldn't even take a sip if his....I dumped him asap.

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Men are idiots. But don't give up the good ones exist they are just rare. So rare in fact you might even miss identifying one when you meet one

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Oh wow. That's bullshit. What a dumbass.

That is none of her business nor right to tell you to put that on your profile. What an child. People like that make it about them lol

Yea it sux

I've only been trying to date for a couple months and I'm rely shy so it's not easy and I'm also 42

Crazy how it works

Sober dating is rough. But it can be done with respect on both sides. I’d go on dates that women got drunk on, and that was over. But I did meet an absolutely incredible woman who not only respected my dry, but made her friends respect too. She and hers would maybe have a glass or two, but no one ever got drunk or tipsy around me. She was great, and because she respected my decision, I had no issues with my own demons knowing she’d have a few glasses of wine or 2 beers on occasion.

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I had the exact same thing happen to me. A Jr. High girlfriend found me on FB so I responded and caught up with her on the good ole school days. So we met up at her place and took my car for dinner. We had dinner she had a beer and I had tea . So afterwards I suggested we go Downtown and watch a couple bands play. Well she pulled out some coke and did a hit. I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable doing that in my car so decided to turn around and take her back home. She went off on me and called me everything in the book. She asked me to drop her off at a bar by her house and had me nerve to ask to borrow $40 to buy more drugs. Told her I was going to ATM and went home. Never again I’ll go with someone i know from school. Still single and happy. I go golfing or gun range. Sporting events like my Houston Astros or Texans. I have a 18 year old son graduating this year so we hang around more often since he turned of legal age. Sorry for the long story but true….

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Thankyou for your post! Amen that guys an idiot! I'm a lady who likes men but your beautiful! And such an inspiration to me! I messed up meeting a guy in recovery and thought we could help each other but all that led to was right back to both of us drinking and not too long after he started the acting up drunk fun...ugh...the jealous violent stuff...So to be honest drunk dating sux too! Haha. I finally realize how I have to stay sober and just take care of me for a change and that means being single :100: at this time....there's a very lucky sober man out there for you somewhere! You deserve the total package lady!

Just realized how old your post was! Curious if you'd post an update? How's it going now?

I'm in Hemphill, TX, can we skip the date and just go fishin?

Good morning Stacy thank you so much for sharing.

Congratulations on almost 2 years. You go girl I’m proud of you.

It's easily the hardest byproduct of sobriety. Hang in there!!

Gave up on that dream :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: but hoping it worked out better for you since this post is from over 2 years ago :pray:

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