How do you guys date sober?
1 Like
I was told no major changes in the first year of my sobriety. Don't change jobs, don't change locations/move, don't date. I didn't those, especially dste.
I had to work on myself before taking on a relationship. How to I be the best person to a woman if I'm not healed. I'm setting myself up to fail in the relationship. Sobriety is more than stopping to drink, it's an inside job of restoration.
I also needed to having the tools to cope in a relationship/dating situation. There are a ton of what-ifs... What if this woman asks if I want to drink/drug, do i have the tools (notice I didn't say strong enough) to say "No." What if I am falling in love with this woman and she doesn't feel the same? My initial and easy reaction is to pick up. I have to learn what is a next step for me. What if we get into an argument? Dating isn't always unicorns, puppies, and rainbows. What do i do in the middle of anger?
I was with my exwife for 15 years, married for 12. I have been divorced for about 12 years. I have dated, I wont settle. I dated a woman that was active in an addiction to pain meds. I felt myvsober self slipping away, I vowed not to do that again.
The Book and, 12 & 12, discuss our need for s3x and how ive used it in the past. I go to meetings to be reminded of my primal thoughts and the solution towards them.
1 Like