It’s too new. Gave me zero people in a 100 mile radius 
I’m proud of you for cancelling. If you feel comfortable tell them drinking isn’t something you like to do and offer alternatives. If you don’t feel comfortable I think that’s a sign that the person or time isn’t right. The right person on your path will have no trouble accepting you don’t drink or even better appreciate that about you!!!
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Yea I def vet out the people who only talk about liquor and bars immediately. But I’m also mindful that alcohol is a very big part of our culture and society and my issues with alcohol aren’t everyone else’s.
Very very true. Thank you for that. I relate completely. I don’t think my problems with alcohol define who I am, and yes exactly why on a first date it shouldn’t even be discussed. First dates are for assessing each other to see if we even want to hang out. Not share my deepest darkest low points!
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Sober or not, switching from dinner to late night drinks is a legit reason I would cancel. It’s like leading someone to believe they’re going to Disneyland then last minute switch it to the local playground.
Sober dating is just as weird as regular dating. That dude thought it was slick and tried to get away with low effort, trying to get you in bed faster. Sober dating is just as weird as regular dating because you’re going to run into weirdos, you’re going to run into people who will push your boundaries etc
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Exactly. And even when I was drinking I didn’t like the idea of just drinking for dates. I don’t think you have to be an alcoholic to not want to do things that only involve alcohol!
I'd say skip dinner dates all together. Just do a meet and greet at a coffee shop. Then if things go well. Have some lunch. Or make another time to get together. If he or she keeps scheduling things around drinks. It might not be a good fit.
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I feel your pain . companionship is so great .but truly finding someone else thats on the same page as you as far as sobriety is nearly impossible. Proud of you for stanying strong .
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Thank you. I’ve attempted coffee dates but besides the weekend that’s not really possible. Yup it’s def tough to find things to do minus bars. But I am a foodie so I like dinner or food dates as that’s important to me to have that in common with someone! but I’m glad I have the support here and in my other groups of friends!
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Also love the analogy of Disneyland vs playground. He went from promising me sushi to a club soda with lime. Naw I’m good! Went out myself and had a great dinner and was in bed by 9pm.
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I’ve been on a few dates where the woman ordered a glass of wine. I’m not telling anyone they can’t drink because I’m an alcoholic. I’m also learning that when I go to events or places that has alcohol I must focus on what I’m going to bring to the event not what I’m going to take.
Short story: I went to a meet up group date. It was fun. Mini golf with about 20 people. Afterwards they all decided to go to the local karaoke bar. I told them that I’m alcoholic and couldn’t go. They said well that’s ok lots of us don’t drink. We go to have fun. At that time in my sobriety I wasn’t ready to go to a bar. I went to a meeting instead. But what I got out of this situation is I can go anywhere as long as my motives are clear.
As for dating being completely honest and upfront seems to be the best option as it thins out those that are not on the same path.
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