Sober Dating

Had to cancel a date last night because he switched dinner to “late” drinks. I don’t outright say I don’t drink just that I prefer non drinking dates but seems the world just wants alcohol. Has anyone attempted sober dating? I’m a year into sobriety and really want companionship.

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Just be open about it from the start. If telling someone you don’t drink causes an issue, then they are not for you.

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I definitely agree just letting them know so that way you won’t waste your time or the other person time… You’ll see who still down to hang n respect what u want

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Yup let them know up front

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I'm in the same boat and have been for a while. Some people are pretty understanding if it. I made a decision though that I just directly tell people at some point early in the 'get to know each other' phase. I would hate to have something major sprung on me that could affect how I see that person. So I try to give the same respect from my side. I think it's healthier to do I this way, for everyone. I might be insecure about bringing it up to a new person but I'm strong enough to do it. Bottom line is, I really do believe in the values and principles I've learned from AA and NA. I think a lot of people can learn from the same concepts. With all that said, I am just most attracted to women in recovery and who understand some of the same things I value. Now, if only I could remain sober!! :crossed_fingers: That's a whole different angle to this dating thing. Doeant change how I feel about recovery though.... :blush:

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People still date?

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Yes. They do.

I'm still working on myself at the moment but I'm getting close to putting myself back out there so I've been trying to come up with an approach to this myself. I think objectively we have to lead with honesty. I'd much rather have to cancel a date with drinks than get farther along into a relationship and face bigger problems with drug or alcohol. I know it will be limiting myself but I'd rather keep all the progress I've made on lifestyle changes and be lonely than settle for less and fall back into old habits. In the meantime I'm planning on getting a puppy

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I’ve been trying for a while. Living where I do online dating is about my only option. I have non drinker listed in my profile, but at some point chatting before meeting I always elaborate. I’ve been sober 3 years and feel comfortable telling women I go to AA. For me I’d rather put it out there right away rather then spring it on them on a date. I’ve met some nice women who understand, but not the right one yet. Being sober for sure makes the whole thing harder.

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That’s the right attitude. Also, take new puppy to dog parks. Good place to meet people irl, I’ve landed a couple dates at the dog park. More importantly, the dog is always there for me, it’s nice not coming home to an empty house.

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I let them know from jump. They can decide from there. It is an easy way to weed ppl out.

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I tell the person before even planning the date that I’m a recovered alcoholic with over a year of sobriety—that way I can feel out the person’s drinking patterns as well. I hold my head high about my sobriety and being an active member of AA, that if someone has an issue with that then they simply aren’t compatible with me. Setting those boundaries early are important for preventing either party from getting hurt.

I will also say, most women I have told have an open mind and admire the fact that I am so honest and straightforward with them

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I have been sober for three years and single for five. I’ve found dating to be challenging to be sure. I am open about my sobriety and what it took to get me here and that I am extremely active in my local recovery community. I find just about all but the diehard barflies to be very accepting. Most appreciate the honesty and openness. It’s just so darn difficult finding the one for me!! Lol!! I’m excited to have the opportunity to get to know someone “for real”. It’s a true test of patience! I just do my best one day at a time and have faith that one day it will happen.

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I get it. It’s so hard being with a partner who drinks. My wife is in the early stages of her alcoholism. Complete denial and she won’t listen to anything I say about it

It’s definitely a challenge but like everyone else said, being upfront is the best way to approach it. Alcohol is heavily involved socially unfortunately. On the bright side, dating sober kinda pushes you to only date people you actually like.

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My personal opinion is to be honest with people. In your specific instance, drinking may not even be a big deal to him and he just threw out the suggestion because he thought it was socially acceptable. I understand everyone is different in regards to how open they are — so no judgement if you don’t feel that you have to share with others.

That is the absolute truth. Dating sober has been a really eye opening experience for me. I can’t believe what I had previous accepted due to my constant intoxication in past relationships.

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Sober people are just as crazy as drunk addicts.......

Do the things you love to do and you meet people with similar interests. I used to love to be a drunken idiot. I met people with similar interests.

Now I do better stuff. I meet better people.

Dont forget there is a dating app built into this app

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