Sober Sexpert Shares Her Addiction Diaries
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Awesome discussion. Newly back to the sobriety journey. Great start!
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I love her take on the earlier the better. As soon as you realize you have an issue get help. She was 29. As MJ said he has friends who go sober in their seventies. It doesn't matter when, just get better.
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I like what both MJ and Tawny said about dating.
My perspective people often relapse because they're lonely. Allowing people to date in the 1st year should be celebrated not shunned. If dating/having a SO prevents relapse I'm all for it!
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Totally agree! Dating is good if it helps.
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I don't agree with dating in the first year. I can speak from years of experience. Loneliness is a state of mind. Dating is a word that's hardly used anymore. Dating is supposed to be a way of determining whether you and the other person are a good fit. But in today's world, dating is an artificial way of filling empty holes in our lives.
That exhilarating feeling that you feel when you meet someone that you want to spend time with is a feeling that doesn't stick around forever. Falling in love is a myth. We all have what are known as "ego boundaries" which are developed since birth and make us who we are. When you meet that special someone, those ego boundaries are temporarily relaxed and we feel as though our new friend can do no wrong.
But there's an old saying that's states "sooner or later we all come down from the clouds." The reality of life sets in and those ego boundaries snap back into place. You suddenly start to realize that your newfound friend is not so perfect after all. This is where most relationships fail and both parties run away from each other. But with addicts, we again start to feel miserable and soon return to our addiction. We weren't really there to serve our partners anyway. We were there for them to make us feel better because we felt " lonely."A lifetime partnership is about serving each other. Before you can learn to serve someone you have to be stable inside of yourself
You can't offer anything worthwhile to the opposite sex if you don't know who you are. I doubt highly that you are going to learn who you are in the context of less than one year of sobriety. Most people that come into the program are not only addicted to alcohol/drugs but they are co-dependent.
They don't know anything about how money works. They don't know anything about the opposite sex other than it feels good to do it with them in bed. They don't know anything about how the world works. And they sure don't know themselves outside of addiction. And so on and so forth.
I'm glad my sponsor in AA talked me into staying by myself and challenged me to discover who I am before trying to get into a relationship. I've seen more and more people including myself lose their sobriety over a relationship that they shouldn't have been in to begin with because they didn't know how to select correctly and they didn't know about themselves first.
Today I am a happily married man not simply shacking up with someone that I can leave anytime because there's no real commitment. I'm thankful to God, Alcoholics Anonymous and all the people I have met along the way.
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Interesting episode 
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This is the first app that is straight up my ally! Thanks for creating this. I could use all the help I can get right now. That’s a lot!
I'm so happy that your back and trying to get on track Congrats. I'm trying to be sober too n it's hard.
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I LOVE Tawny and am so happy she’s in the recovery space!! 
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That’s amazing
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Appreciate your wisdom hun!
Right 
Really amazing! 🥲