I can definitely understand this. I think anxiety is what I suppressed all those years and when I got sober I felt (and still feel it) hard, but I realized it's not a bad thing. It's my body's way of telling me to get up and do something, to be productive. Embrace it as a sign to get into action. As for the performing, I used to think I had to be stoned and have a couple beers to play guitar in front of people and honestly theyre still so connected to playing guitar that after 17 years of playing I've barely touched my guitar in this 1 year of sobriety. I'd recommend not being like me in that sense and keep performing!