Someone who i thought was my friend angered me. I tried calming down the ways i know how. Meditating, exercise, journaling, etc, but nothing was working. I wound up drinking, and i am mad at myself for letting their actions dictate my sobriety. The best thing i can do now is start over, but if anyone has any advice on what to do when the craving for alcohol won't subside, it would be greatly appreciated.
I learned a few things about anger in the rooms. I learned when I react in anger to something I gave them the power to get in my skin. I am giving this person(s) space in my head. rent free! And I was told early in life, there is NO free lunch.
I was also told to ptay for the person everyday, morning and night for 40 days, straight. I pray for this person for healing, for grace, for forgiveness. There is something about praying for the best for someone else that has hurt me where I feel free.
I also take a moment and see what is my part in the interaction. What precipitated the bad feelings? What did I do? Was i told something that is true, got under my skin, and hurt my feelings? I need to be accountable for that.
Working the 12 Dteps with a person that has worked them before me is a house cleaning and growing experience. At first i didn't want to do them. I did want to change my life where my first thought is not to drink. I was so desperate for a change, I chose to do some simple things for a complex person like me. I hope you find the gift of desperation and make that change.
Always carry a candybar of your choosing. When you have a craving like that, eat some. It tricks your body into thinking it got something. Then you calm yourself. It really helps the craving. Anger is our defense from the deeper emotion. I'm just now realizing that, and it helps me work thru things a bit quicker.
And everything from Niel Flamm.