I struggle with that fact that I know being sober is amazing my life always gets better. Drinking has ruined me so many times and I’ve had to start from nothing. But sometimes I still just want to get fucked up, and I hate myself for it.
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you will get over that feeling once you a being productive without it. your got this bro
I’ve done it before. My life is what every normal person dreams of. It’s not enough. I just feel defeated.
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Have you asked yourself honestly what would be enough? Do you have unfinished business or a dream you aspire to achieve? I completely understand how just merely being productive and living a "normal" life is simply not enough. Perhaps try some soul searching and strive to seek satisfaction throughout that process. May you find the drive that keeps moving you forward in continuing sobriety 
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I have not personally, I've only gotten through step 5 (in treatment) but have you gone through all 12 steps with an experienced and helpful sponsor?
You’re not alone…. I felt like that last week! I’m glad I came to my senses but it was rough
I have. Twice
That bites man. That's tough. Just keep talking through it
Don’t hate yourself, that’s just AA garbage seeping in. It’s normal to crave stuff that’s bad for you