Soo much at once

Mental Health
#1

My divorce was supposed to be finalized yesterday, but my ex-wife’s attorney didn’t sign dragging the process out even more (been going on 3 years now). My ex agrees to the terms and everything and now that lawyer is off the case. Yes, she’s my ex and I don’t like her but she’s still the mother of my child and it pisses me off someone that has nothing to do with us is screwing with us because that takes more money away from my son.

On top of that really questioning my career choices right now. Thinking about making a move but at nearly 40 years old and getting close to 8 years of sobriety, I want to know what I want to be when I grow up already!

I know I won’t pick up over this, I have no desire too. I am back to that “sick of tired of being sick and tired,” feeling again.

I have the next few days off, so I think I’m gonna add some meetings and try to spend some time in service .

4 Likes
#2

Wow that is a lot. Sounds like her lawyer is not good at his job. Really sucks for you and her. However that situation is out of your control so try to just let it fester in your head too much. I know that’s what I would do if I were you. I’ve learned to do my best to not let things that are not in my control go. And about finding what you want to be when you grow up is great! If you’re not happy with your current carrer, you’re never too old to figure out what will make you happy :smiley: I agree with adding meetings :blush: they always help me. I wish you the best!! Wow sorry I didn’t mean for my comment to be so long lol

#3

Can I identify with the feeling of the divorce feom h**l😝. You are strong that you have the self confidence that you know you won't pick up!

Also its kind of exciting to think of a career change, a new start is sometimes good it can energize you and open up a whole new world.

I know you feel weighed down, but it sounds like soon, there are new possibilities around the corner... and you will be able to experience them sober!

#4

Hi Jenn, your comment wasn’t too long, it was perfect and just what I needed to hear today, you bring up a great point about control. That is one of my biggest character defects, I trust God but once things start getting a little of control or stressful, I have to fix it. Than things just get worse. I have to remember I can’t control this, I will get through it and God has me. Thank you for that reminder!

1 Like
#5

Hi Tanya thank you for your support. I appreciate your perspective about getting excited in this career discernment process. You are right. I have this complex that I have to do this job because it’s part of my culture is, but I’ve always wanted to do since I was a kid. I have a masters degree which will help me later in this job down the line but right now I don’t really need to have a masters degree and to experience the things I experience and being a single dad, I don’t know if it’s worth the risk and all of the stress that comes with it.

So I think your idea About being excited is excellent because I may find something that I never thought of before. Thank you!

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#6

:blush: you’re welcome!!

#7

Tim I can only say I have been right where you are, divorce for me was the last thing that pushed me over the edge and all the way to rock bottom with my drinking. I spent two years not able to think or deal with anything else, it was rough but through a series of miracles I found recovery, been almost four years. You're never too old to try something new, I changed careers at 40 and now I'm going to law school. It's never too late as long as you're still breathing, good luck.

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#8

Thank you David, funny law school is one of the ideas i have lol

1 Like
#9

Sorry about the divorce.

As far work goes. Its work. I suggest dont focus so much on what youll be. And focus more on what the job provides. Is it weekends off, money, retirement, healthcare, work/ life balance, a challenge, fullfillment?

I left a 13 year career after i got sober. It was scary but worth the risk. Im also nearing 40.

#10

Yes, that’s a great point as well Scott. That’s the biggest issue with leaving a job is the security so being able to find all of the same benefits again.

#11

Man, Tim, that is a lot to be carrying right now. Divorce stuff hits so hard, especially with all those delays. Just want to say I see you showing up here through it, and that strength is real. Take it slow and keep leaning on the community, we’ve got you.

#12

Hey Crissy, thank you so much I appreciate it!