My drinking got pretty bad once my son regressed. He had autism and adhd. Nonverbal and not potty trained at 5. It’s exhausting. Oh and adding in a sprinkle of domestic violence and restraining order with his father too. I’m a caregiver during the day as well. I began to have horrible anxiety. Never anytime for self care- I fell asleep from taking 3 Ativan and a breakfast shot to cure my hangover and fell asleep at work. My family flew in and I went to my first meeting. Both of my parents are recovering addicts. I saved my moms life when she overdosed after taking too much vodka at my pool with her coworker then snorting a line of laced cocaine. My ex boyfriend ran and there were 10 ppl around her car in the parking lot and I was the only one who started CPR. Super super traumatic….but anywayyy I have a chance for my boss to take me back. I am a private duty CNA and they know my family well so it’s not a usual job. I know this is not a normal opportunity. I am paid very well for my title. He is very wealthy and gave me a chance mid august once my son goes back to school I- might have my job back only if I take care of myself. He is giving me $400 a week to attend daily meetings and random testing. I am so spoiled. I was hospitalized in May for 11 days with pancreatitis and June for 6 days. No pain like I’ve ever endured before- very close to childbirth. I’m killing my body and it could be chronic. This is my chance and I’m super scared I can’t make it. I’m home all day with no respite for my child who’s incredibly difficult….. self medicating and having a buzz on felt like I could handle him:pleading_face:
so not only do I not have childcare because he’s super low functioning I also don’t have my job so I’m just sitting at home with all the time in the world now when I was used to being so busy and still drank at night pretty heavily. Oh and my current boyfriend is a daily drinker too but he’s supportive of me stopping and knows most people don’t get paid to get sober…… Am i worth it? Can I do it? Ugh I’m terrified. Sorry for the ramble
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You are worth it. You can do it. The path ain't easy but it's worth it. Do it for yourself. You're blessed to have a boss who wants to help you.
God works in mysterious ways! You’re not spoiled! God loves you. Are you doing the steps?