Spouse and me

Recovery
#1

Want to quit drinking and my spouse also has a drinking problem but doesn’t want to quit. She can become a different person when drinking heavily

1 Like
#2

Most alcoholics do become different when they drink. You can not control what she does only what you do. Focus on your own health and well being. Good luck man

1 Like
#3

I don’t wish this for you, but I had to get divorced to get sober. Thankfully we are still friendly but I never would have gotten sober in that situation. I hope you can work something out.

#4

I have been in your situation. I had to get to meetings and work my own program. I realized that I am powerless over alcohol and alcoholism. I cannot control anybody’s thoughts or actions. Only my own. Without my sobriety I can’t have relationship that’s worth having anyway. Hope that helps.

1 Like
#5

Thanks. I hope it worked out for you

#6

I am hoping if I take the lead and get sober she may follow, but it gets frustrating when your partner really becomes someone else when drunk. To the point that I an not sure she remembers half the stuff she says. However, I have been drinking during these episodes and know I am not as tolerant as I would be sober. It’s time….

#7

Thank you for posting. It reminds me of my powerlessness. In the AA 12 and 12 book in the 4th step chapter it talks about how when I tried to control others actions, even if it’s from a place trying to help them, I generate resentment and distrust. I had to let her take her own course to sobriety or non sobriety. As all those around me had let me find my own bottom.