My head just won’t stop, it’s so much going on and I know I won’t relapse but I have all the thoughts of it. It’s the urge that really bothers me, due to the issues in my life and my mental and health state don’t help the mix. I’m just feeling lost and all these thoughts (squirrels) in my head I just want to put a stop to.
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I get it and I know how hard it is... But we have no choice but to keep pushing through it and have faith it will pass. I have MDD and BPD so the squirrels are always running around frantically in my head too. Keep talking about it and reach out to people there are a ton of people here that will take the time to talk to you and pain shared really is pain lessened
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Keep your head up friend. Make sure when you are having thoughts of relapse don't dwell on them. Get them out of your head as quick as possible. Talk to your sponsor or someone you trust in recovery let them know what's going on with you. Also utilize some thought stopping techniques. When you are having unwanted thoughts imagine a stop sign in your mind. Think about the color and the shape of the sign. Give it as much detail as possible. It might seem silly but it works! Also prayer and meditation always helps me. Good luck friend I will be praying for you.
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Megan, are you in a program? Do you have a physical sober support system? I mean a real system, not the Internet, not hope and pray, but real people who have been through and are going through what you're going through? I think you'd really benefit from that.
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I do not unfortunately, I am getting back into one on one counseling though next Friday