Starting day 4. Feeling better than yesterday which is a good sign I believe. I know this is all about the moment we are in but I worry about the moment when my disease tells me I deserve another hit. One minute I am thrilled about recovery the next minute I am using and asking “what happened?”
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Hi Rick - congrats on 4 days! You have a commitment to staying clean. Our addiction talks to us in “euphoric recall”, telling us how great it is to use. We have to consciously remember all of the BS that comes with using. The pain, shame, drama. The paranoia, avoidance, feeling as low as whale poo. It helped me to write that stuff down on paper - what do I REALLY feel when/after using. And I read it to remind myself, bc the disease conveniently leaves that part out. I’ve also found it helpful to say out loud “Heck no, that’s not going to happen” when my addiction starts whispering. Writing and verbalizing helps in the battle - it gets stuff out of our head.
That was really helpful. I did write down a list of paranoia, physical illness, broken teeth, wasted money, ignoring loved ones, despair, isolation, loneliness. Writing that actually made me feel better. Thanks again.
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Stay busy.meetings will help .aa. Org meet people.it will get better .you need help let me now.na . Org. Pleas get out and be active.aa🐪