... Why am I my own worst enemy...
In the begining we are cause we are trying to prove to everyone that we got this
Can you give me any advice to overcome that? Or work towards being an asset to myself?
Jesus, doing the 12 steps thoroughly multiple times really is a massive game changer. I was my own worst enemy for way too long. The 12 steps saved me from myself.
Iām here if you want to talk about it.
Be kind to your past. Try and find things to occupy your mind in a healthy way instead of using. Do things that make you feel whole. Even the simplest things, like a thorough shower or a good book can help you feel more like yourself. 
Jesus i hear you i feel that same way I dont know why I seem to always sabotage everything I got going on we need to hang in there and you are not alone
Push up your accomplishments. Don't forget your progressions.
We all are but, we got to want to get sober!
You might call it sinkin thinkin. Pray first, then step work.