i feel like im back at square one. i started my recovery journey back in march of this year and got about 60-75 days clean before recovery took a back burner and life got busy and before i knew it i was getting drunk/high almost every day and with that came addict tendencies like lying to my partner, being manipulative, blaming others, getting angry, being selfish, getting jealous, and all kinds of icky stuff. i went to texas unity convention (tucna) over the weekend with my dad really genuinely convinced i was just gonna go and then come right back to start using bc at this point i had convinced myself “im not really an addict and im just going to support my dad” LOL
well it was an eye opening weekend for sure. i am kat and i AM an addict. starting over again is intimidating, scary, stressful, freeing, and exciting all at once. i wanna do it right this time and actually get a sponsor and do the steps and do all the frickin work that comes with that, and i have a great support system already but a huge part of me is absolutely terrified because i know my life is never gonna be the same and i know that i can’t half a** my recovery again