I want to keep telling myself it’s the last time then stress brings me back to sickness.
Living in this country is so hard right now. I feel like everyone is depressed, sick of life, everything is so expensive, etc.
Sometimes I just want to escape. But I know I need to channel that in other ways. I really want to do better.
Anyway, im 3 days sober and am going to take it one day at a time.
Don't trip, you came back, that's awesome.
People are depressed/sick of life because they/we are constantly measuring ourselves in what everyone else is doing or has etc. Social media influencers are now dictating behavior/fashion etc etc etc to everyone, even things like specific ailments/anxiety they are peddling to us, so we thing these are our issues too. It's like when you make the mistake of reading WebMD and you suddenly think you have all kinds of weird diseases hahaha.
Things are getting expensive because America is catching up to the rest of the world. Young people who have been told all their lives by the baby boomers that if they don't like their jobs they can go somewhere else, are doing just that. They aren't content to make 7 bucks an hour anymore. Cost of living has been going up but wages not so much so we are in extreme growing pains at the moment.
All I'm saying is, this stuff is just things we can't change. Don't trip on it. Let the world do what it's gonna do. Don't let it get you down. Maybe disconnect from any social media that isn't positive for you. Lay low and disconnect from that stuff and reconnect with yourself. Figure out who you are, what's important to you, without the influence of all the büllshit going on out here.
Hang in there.
I'm in the same position as you and we've got this! As long as I'm alive and still have that opportunity to start over, then I will for as many times as it takes to finally stick. Let's do better. I'm taking it sometimes a minute at a time.
Good luck!! You got this!!
Well what I did is I made a strong commitment that I wasn’t picking up again and just stay connected to the program and use everything at your disposal to stay sober because picking up the drink again is not a problem solver it’s another problem and if the end of it you’re gonna have to probably maybe more think the drink through 
Hey at least your starting again ! Keep it up and stay strong. We’re in the together.
When im feeling an urge or wanting to escape I will try to ground myself, do yoga and put the aroma diffuser on and slow my mind. Take deep breaths and smell the awesome scents from the diffuser- I got it off amazon for like $15 i think it rlly helps me take deep breaths and just focus on the good smell and tbh essential oils rlly work to calm down. Just a suggestion:) I used to think yoga was stupid but it seriously helps me feel so much better. My back doesn’t hurt all day and i’m not constantly trying to crack it. And while I do yoga time feels like it slows down and it’s my time. usually after even 5 min of yoga my anxiety is lower and the urge has gone away.
BOUNCE BACK!! Lets go!! 
All we can do is do one day at a time.
I relapsed after 13 yrs. I lost my family in 2016..3 kinda in a row. I’m the survivor. But I have my son whose visiting now. On Aug. 1 after buying a house in ‘the country’, I drank for no reason. I’ve had something to drink every day for these 6 mos. I’m hooked. I went back to AA in December (M, W, F) I call it my home group. I haven’t asked for a sponsor..I’ve had 1, , 2 and nearly 3 days sober. That’s it. I’ve hidden it from my son but he knows I’m in the midst of this..in the same timeframe, I cut off a bunch of friends who weren’t really the friends I thought. .. Lifelong people of 50 yrs. My eyes opened. So that’s more loss even though it was the right thing. Part of me needs to drink, part of me wants to drink. Everything is telling me not to drink. I take meds for a number of conditions that really have helped me with anxiety, depression, ADHD, fibromyalgia. It’s worked fine for 13 yrs. The alcohol is wrong though. These 6 months have been very trying. I am concluding I do not love myself. But that’s better than hating myself. I used to hate myself. I like my house, but it’s just a house. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I prayed thru the process, furnished the new place, it all went smooth as glass. But not picking up the drink part. It causes me grief when my son comes..he’s really smart and helpful..but I’m not free to drink. It is a monkey on my back. I’m in limbo right now. Part of me knows I shouldn’t risk drinking . I’m by myself, except for who I’ve met in AA. I still have my condo. I needed a yard for my dogs. I’m 65 and after 16 yrs of walking dogs, I tire easily. I didn’t want to walk dogs anymore. I can’t part with them, though they caused havoc. I’m causing myself havoc. I know sobriety is the goal. A relapse is awful..I was doing fine for 13 yrs. How did I get here? I need to stop drinking or I won’t have a life.