I’ve been in a domestic violence relationship that I spent most of the time, trying to run away from. Also, the day I met him, is the day I met meth. Now I’ve relapsed a few times with him by since my 15 months clean…I’m truly fighting the urge not to call him up. Not only because I could get high(which isn’t even something I really want to do, so I don’t get it🫤) but I get lonely and he is the only person I’m most comfortable with. Even though EVERY single time he is around, it only gets ugly. Why do I like to put myself through torture?!
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Amen and your magnificent worth more than that Hun keep working for yourself and the Lord without a great doubt will make you safe
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Have you tried calling the 211 number. They might be able to direct you to available community services in your area like free counseling, domestic violence support groups, etc.
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No but I should definitely get into some counseling. I was in a domestic violence shelter and that was one of the smartest things I did. I learned so much! But always wind up going back to him.
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Your cute you don’t deserve a bad relationship keep loving yaself and work on yaself you got this beautiful
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Thank you for sharing this I am in a similar situation
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One of the reasons is called codependency. You can't seem to live by yourself outside of any relationship.
I speak from experience because I too was once codependent. I never realized it until my former sponsor back in 2003 pointed it out to me. He encouraged me to stay away from women for at least one year and try to learn more about who I was as a person.
In your case it's easier to hang out with an abusive ex than by yourself. His abuse will only get worse too. He too is sick!
Here's an aphorism for you:
As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly" Proverbs 26:11,
In the beginning, when we're trying to get sober and stay sober, relationships just get in the way. If you're not married, I highly recommend that you close the door before there are kids involved.
Many couples after they have been sober for a long period of time have consequently came to the realization that they weren't exactly right for each other. We see through a different set of lenses after we've been sober for a while. If they have kids in the picture then it becomes very complicated.
Some of the things I did when I was living by myself was taking classes on things such as personal finance. I went to a three-day seminar at my church community on dating for marriage, raising kids through marriage and relighting the spark in your marriage. These are not the kind of activities that practicing alcoholics participate in. LOL
I'm a whole different person today than I was thanks to my sponsor. I'm also happily married, have a nice home and many other blessings simply because I learned how to make better choices.
When you stay sober for well over a year you start seeing through a different set of glasses then you do when you're under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Nothing changes if nothing changes!
If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always gotten!
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. What you do with it is up to you!
Change is possible Ashley but you have to start by making the sacrifices. It will be well worth it, I promise! Begin with a fresh piece of paper and start repainting your life.
PS. That looks like my shirt in your picture. If it is, you have some explaining to do. LOL
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Thank you! I needed to hear that! And that’s funny about the shirt😂
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Well to answer your question, it’s classic codependence. And trauma bonding. Which, I’m sure all of us have experienced as attics as the two things go hand-in-hand. You probably know that the only way for you to stay sober is to stay away from this person. And your life probably depends on you doing just that.
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Thank you so much!
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You keep wanting to call him not because you love him or feel comfortable.. you’re comfortable in that environment. Chaos. It’s going to take work, a lot of work to re-wire your Brian to healthy experiences. Our Brian is in survival mode and will attract situations we’ve survived in.
Keep praying for strength.
I would also consider Kambo Medicine. It’s been a game changer for me.
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Cut him off now. Be the one that comforts yourself.
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Kambo medicine?
I have been there. It is hard. It’s like you want the person but you know the outcome already. Most times we are comfortable with things because that’s what we used to you’ll be in my prayers. You are worth so much more.
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