Staying ready so you don’t have to get ready that’s my discussion today. I spent a lot of time in my addiction during the Wrong things and never ready for anything today. I’m more focused. My humility keeps me driven. I stay ready for anything to happen so I won’t have to get ready for the deal with anything that has happened and with that being said, I challenge myself on a day-to-day basis every day I get a challenge myself as a new adventure for me to be something that I wasn’t before you know when I started doing drugs and being out there in the streets, it seems simple. I was funny. I laughed. I did my drugs. I went home to family like I didn’t do anything covering it up, and then my addiction began to be wide open, and it didn’t seem to bother me then either I guess because I already knew what was gonna happen, but I also knew that it would hurt my mother the most, but I never realized that it would hurt the people around me just as much as they were hurt my mom so when drama chaos, frustration aggravation, and anything that can mess with my peace. Come my way I’m ready for the knock it down today. I don’t open the door and I’ll fix it on things too often I keep my mind clear and I’m ready to aim and shoot at anything that comes near me with some mess with that being said I know a lot of people face challenges of not being ready to deal with what comes along with going home to family being around family listening to their input and output you know it’s a challenge to know who you are in yourself when I came into my last detox my last Recovery house to get clean and get better. I said I wanted to be like I used to be before the drugs, but that’s not what God wanted me to be. He wanted me to be something totally different. I see that’s what I used to be. Is what caused my addiction in the beginning staying at home going to work coming back home going to work doing this at home making dinners at home husband’s not at home. Those are the type of things that I was dealing with being cheated on you know just a little bit of what was going on. You know that kept me like I used to be and I kept saying I wanted to be like I used to be and God said no no that’s not what I want for you. I need you to be what I need you to be. I knew that in my addiction I would lose my husband cause no man wants to marry of dope thing that’s a no-no no man wants to marry a woman who’s always in the streets and every man can get their hands on so they think no man wants to have to chase after his wife to make sure she’s doing what she needs to be doing as a wife I mean you see a lot of relationships people that Recovery or people that are addiction people that are in addiction that have relationship relationships for years and some I know are still having those relationships, but they can’t seem to get clean together when I said I wanted it to be different. God made me totally different. I knew what I wanted them, I went after it except God sent me the man. I didn’t have to go after that so with that being said today, my mindset is in a whole different place. You can’t play with me like you used to play with me because my mind ain’t on play things anymore my mind‘s are living being happy, having peaceful, driven life, purpose, driven life. I’m no longer looking to wake up in the morning and the next few hours after I just lay down to get a fix. I’m no longer searching for somebody to make me smile because I do that on the day-to-day basis. I’m no longer hunting for friends to be around me or or need to be around them. I don’t have those issues anymore today. I’m a purpose driven woman with that being said I literally wake up in the morning. I look for my meditation in my head. What am I going to do today? Am I going to make a conscious decision to stay clean just for 24 hours one more time and just because I make that conscious decision to stay clean for 24 hours just one more time I’ve gotten four years out of it. Every day is not a good day. Let me explain that as well, but I have a husband that says what are we going to do about it? He doesn’t put it all on me. Maybe I can go fix that he doesn’t put it all on me. He says what are we gonna do about it and I love it just when he says that because he loves to see me smile he loves to see me in my peace. He wants to keep me at my peace and people wonder why I’m so attached to that man because that man is not grooming me he’s walking with me. He’s guiding me through what I’m supposed to be and I’m allowing him to lead as I should. He gave me a reason to be soft again he gave me a reason to let go let loose let God and as a result of Our that I know one thing is for sure in life and I tell people this all the time one I know God got it too. I know what I’m going to do three I know what I’m not gonna mess somebody else do and as a result of following these three things on a day-to-day basis and waking up meditation prayer, putting God first allowing him to lead has allowed me to live a purpose driven life. I see you guys in the next one may you all be blessed and loved more than you know
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