It became extremely obvious yesterday that I need to be diligent and keep recovery at the forefront of my thinking
Expectations are extremely dangerous for me.the thought of I do something and I should expect a certain result is a subtle way my cunning alcoholic brain will tell me I can and should try to control situations (people places and things) in my life.One expectation that dose not go the way I think it should and BOOM! I have taken back my self will without seeing it.After being stuck in my head all day thinking about how a can change a relationship to better suit MY selfish needs not only did I create a big old mess but also was looking at my half full ice coffee thinking to myself I wonder how a pint of Jim Beam would taste in there I wonder how buzzed I would get after not drinking for 7.5 months these thoughts coming to me as I'm passing the liquor store.My foot did not touch tbe brakes (drinking not an option)but a good slap and wake up call
Well said and amen to that! My yesterday was the same (minus your length of consecutive sobriety) same as in my ego/expectations/lack of things going the way I want them too...I understand so much and you are so right. Awareness
Progress not perfection ā¤āš©¹:dove:
Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now,
water can flow or it can crash. Be water my
friend.
Bruce Lee
Good deal to recognize that. Get back into the steps.
Working on the forth
I'm happy to recognize my faults I'm aware every day but struggling to get them on paper
Like you said I need to man up and stop making excuses
Iām doing a 4th and 5th step today. It took a good long while for me to get it on paper. Even then it was in code. But I know the relief is on the other side of the action.
Took the 5th step today with my sponsor. Much relief. Iām constantly amazed by this program and how well it works for the Alcoholic. If we work it. 
Great meeting last night.A hodgepodge group of us spontaneously got together after and got a bite to eat together I love that the program brings all walks of life together I have made bonds with people that 229 days ago I would not be comfortable in the same room with.Somtimes I feel we are fortunate to be alcoholics there should be a 12 step program for "sober" people