I get so upset seeing how badly I destroyed my reputation with everyone I knew during my addiction and mental health struggles. I just want to start new where nobody knows me. I constantly feel like everyone looks down at me. Or that they roll their eyes when they see me or something online. I hate that I do this. I just look like I’m looking for attention. I cant ask for help if I’m the one causing my own issues. Like I feel frozen again. This problem was awful during my use. I just dont know how to fully seperate my actions from my worth because bad people do bad things. And I did bad things. Idk maybe my thinking is broken.
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Im glad you recognize your behavior now. I did alot of work in groups to learn how to face ppl again. Now Im not too concerned with how ppl see me those are their own issues.
i dont really have advice for you, but i just wanted to say i feel this in my soul and you are not alone.
I still have days that I feel broken but that’s okay hang on it does get better
@rylee233926
@hanna295867
Don't beat yourself up. Did you PHUQ up? You sure did. We ALL did that's why we are here. Take your PHUQ ups and use them to your advantage and learn from them.
We ALL PHUQED UP.
You want to start new? My suggestion stop doing the 
that you did in the past that took you down the phuq up road.
No matter where you go you're own self will be waiting for you. You can run however you can't hide. What you can do is use it (your PHUQ ups) to your advantage and share your experience strength and hope with others. We are not saints. If we were we wouldn't be here.
If you're tired of having people roll their eyes or question everything you say or do. Then lead by example. My suggestion start working the 12 steps of recovery. If you need help with them ask me and I'll walk you through them.
How to separate doing good from bad... It's easy. It's the transformation of your mind and convincing your innermost self that you're an alcoholic/addict and that your life is a train wreck. If you can convince yourself of that then you've completed the 1st step of recovery.
You're thinking it is not broken. Again add me and I'll be more than happy to walk with you on this journey.
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