-stomps feet-

Recovery
#1

"but i doh wanna stay home.."

Last night one of my favorite bands played in the area. I knew about it for a week. Was amped up for a week. Yesterday comes along and maybe 3 hours before I started getting cold feet about the whole situation. My past life started to creep into my head and fear consumed the entirety of all my thoughts. Slowly choking away all the fun of dancing the night away that I intended to have. I finally subsided to the idea that just staying in was the best idea.

This morning I'm up kicking myself in the buttock, feeling like a coward and wondering about this next question.

Did I bring myself to sobriety just to die here?

Obviously not.

So my fellow Soberians. (Just thought the word up. 'So-bur-ee-aans' What do you think?) What are some of the practices that you're putting in place to not hide behind closed doors or to subside the fear of living in sobriety?

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#2

For me it took about 8 months to feel comfortable going to a venue. Like a bar, or party I knew there was going to be drinking. I always have an escape planned. Drive myself. Getting past the fear is just taking the step and trying. After a few times you will be able to gauge what is a good risk and what isn’t.

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#3

Let me tell you something, you are NOT a coward. You made the hard RIGHT decision for you at this point in your sobriety! That takes way more courage then putting yourself in a place that could have been one big trigger.

I have a few 24 hours under my belt and there are still times when people, places, and things can really mess with my head. The difference now is I can recognize the impact and adjust (much like what you experienced yesterday). As you work towards changing your thinking and get more sober time under your belt, it will be easier to get out and do so safely.

Many of us are not good at being patient. We want things NOW (like the next drink or drug). Those old habits take time to change but they will, indeed, change if you work at it.

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#5

Thank you for the advice. What does an escape plan look like for you? Do you feel like taking the time to describe what being able to gauge what a good risk looks like?

#6

I drive myself. Depending on the group I decide ahead of time if I am ghosting or telling people I need to leave. Have a person Tao call like your sponsor. Let them know what’s going on. Have someone who is willing to text you to check in from time to time during the event.
As far as gauging the risk. What kind of day did you have? What kind of week? Who is all going to be there? Are they all heavy going out to just get blasted friends or enjoying a drink and they are good friends? The big thing is knowing if you are feeling triggered and leaving right away. Don’t worry about if people will be upset.
It just takes time. You will get there,

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#7

You made the right decision. Eventually you will get to the point when you are no longer afraid. It's a journey

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#8

You are all amazing. I thank you so much for your encouragement and advice.

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