Struggle dates

Mental Health
#1

4 years ago today, i lost my mom. Then i lost my way. My drinking problems turned into complete chaos. Oh, i was functional as in i went to work. But the beer turned into a shot of mixer with my rum... Vodka. Whatever. But i could sleep, not feel. 4 years. Then I woke up. Woke up from my fog. Also woke up in my room above the garage with my dog stressed out standing guard watching mama. Didnt remember the evening ending. I got up went to bed, I woke up and had a few drinks knowing that I wanted to try to quit and I wanted to prolong the withdrawal. 112 days later I'm still sober. I haven't been sober this long since 1995.

I felt the grief drunk, i feel it sober. I won't be hungover. Won't have to make excuses.

Its a beautiful day here in Western Pennsylvania.

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#2

The good part of recovery is, we get our feelings back...the hard part of recovery is, we get our feelings back. Usually full force and not muted by anything...hang in there and sorry for your loss.

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#3

Thank you for that It is bittersweet isn't it. But honestly I did better today without my drunken manic pity party.

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#4

That is the toughest thing in the world but please remember u didn't lose mom but gained an angel

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#5

Thank you

#6

We all have days no one is 100% always that's y we need our angels

1 Like
#7

I can totally relate. I went from having a problem to full blown raging alcoholic in every manner. 152 days in and although that pain is still there, I no that I can face it with the help of my higher power and I don’t have to drink. Happy for you!

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#8

Your mom would be very proud you have taking your life back and you are now in control. Amen.

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#9

Sounds like we're on a similar path. It's so worth it.

#10

The peace I have even during hard times that would have used to put me on tilt blows my mind. I would never have guessed things could have changed this much so quickly. So worth it!

#11

We’ve al had some pretty intense bottoms but we’ve persevered. Proud of you, keep going.