Struggling hard. My roommate keeps relapsing I have done everything put him in detox. Then sober living for a while. He can’t get back since he lost his 9 months sober. It’s to the point I almost got into a physical fight with him last night. This has put me in a bad place. Mentally and financially. I don’t know what to do.
Who owns this place? Even if it's yours and he has been living there for a period of time the law, depending on where you live at says you can't just kick somebody out of a place they have called home for a period of time. If he's getting combative that could change the legal parameters. Your best bet is to contact a lawyer and see if there's any way you can get him out of there.
The only other option is for you to leave. He apparently isn't ready yet. Sticking around and helping someone when they obviously aren't ready to get sober yet is nothing more than enabling them. Sometimes people need to be left on their own lying in their own mess for them to clean up.
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Yeah I am working on getting out but it’s not easy in LA with no family. Rents so high. I am praying he goes and would be some much easier.
If you are both renting, him getting combative may be grounds for removal.
Josh, sorry you’re going through this with your roommate. Sounds like he’s not ready, as Dave pointed out, and there is a few things we can do. Have you read the chapter on working with others in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous? That chapter has a lot of information about how to approach an alcoholic who is in their active addiction. I’m actually on that chapter with my Sponsor. I’ve read it a few times now but definitely need a refresher. I remember in the chapter saying we definitely can’t approach them while they’re intoxicated. Sometimes letting them go on that bender can help them when they fall off. That’s when we can be there for them after the fall. Fighting him only causes more wreckage. Remember he is a sick person who needs help. How would you approach a sick person? That’s how I approach 90% of the population today, as if they are sick people. I can now have compassion towards them. The 10% is when I take my pride and ego back… lol
I like to ask myself this question, How can I help this sick person?
Sometimes the only help I can give is to sit back and watch. Then another opportunity will come when they fall…
Keep talking to us on here about this situation as the newcomer is the most important person in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Even the one who is still drinking.
You shouldn't want his sobriety more than he does. That is very unhealthy. You've done your part, the rest is up to him.
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Don’t let him mess you up no matter what.
If he does not want sobriety.and you do .there’s only one answer.someone has to leave.