Struggling a little bit. I'm not going to drink but man these feelings are rough. Couldn't even do my gratitude last night because I'm so sad, heartbroken and lonely. I've got my people to reach out to but its not the same. My heart would let me go back to my abusive husband in times like this 
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Girl, me too. Because abusive people are never all bad. Play the tape out, though. We were talking about that last night. Going over the crazy making, manipulation, and gaslighting from one situation that goes on in those relationships. Girl, that was enough to kill that desire. I never want to be cheated on, severely manipulated with all my words twisted on me, called a liar, questioned about my whereabouts, followed, called names, etc. There is a very low percentage of abusers that ever actually change without going to jail and/or forced by the courts to get therapy and battery intervention.
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You're exactly right. Same with alcohol, just play that tape through
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I'm actually in one of those relationships now
I'm sorry to hear that. Be safe. The holidays usually make it worse, and violence escalates.
Send a message if you want. It's rough
Heyyy I have a question. Can u send me a message
Stay strong Ms lady
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I haven't experienced these extreme emotions in a long time. Grief, loss, guilt, loneliness resentment. Working on overcoming it too without alcohol. Stay strong!
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Dont rationalize and let yourself go back to an abuser ,it feels like they will wait for that then the abuse gets worse. That is how it felt in my situation in the past. Mental abuse takes a toll. You will get stronger. Get amongst people who will value you. Get to meetings or do volunteer work whtever it takes. The cycle of abuse is vicious. I am 11 yrs sober. You can do it.
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Me too.
Let go of the old Victoria. Let go of the old beliefs and negative feelings that accompany them. Today is a new day. Today you choose to walk a different path. Today you you choose to live in the solution. Today you choose to see the past as a gift or a lesson to propel you into this new direction. The journey to get where you are today was hard, but here you are! You made it! Today you have the powers and wisdom of your recovery program to help you. Use your prayer and meditation, call your sponsor and friends in the fellowship, read a few pages from the BB, go to a meeting…add all this power together to help you overcome whatever is going on in your life. You have a purpose. You are blessed. ODAAT 
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Compassion and empathy understanding of your journey looking at your hurt and pain dictates your actions. Believe me it's real and say that be selfish enough to love who you are,and have become. Stay strong and allow yourself to love.