Struggling hard

Struggling Help
#1

So I’m struggling incredibly hard right now. I keep catching myself going back to the worthless, failure thinking.

So one random day the company I started working for 2 months ago called me and randomly said they’re cutting my salary in half…. A week after they never paid me and today two weeks since I’m struggling hard to find a job. Practically am broke finically no joke 401k is gone, no savings due to me not being smart, I have literally just enough money in my account to pay for rent next month, but all my bills upcoming are not going to be paid.

I guess I’m struggling with myself, I’m ashamed and angry at myself for this being the age 30 I seriously feel like a complete failure. The job thing was random and no one saw that coming the company shut down with out notifying anyone. All I want to do is get messed up right now. But I won’t because I know it will screw more things up. But how should I think right now. I’m isolating again and feel like my support system is spotty.

I hate this I hate that I know the potential I have in me for greatness to be a great person but I really hate who I am and the decisions I made. And it’s easy for someone here to say hey you can’t change the past focus on today but come on it’s like a broken record here in my mind.

I honestly am trying so hard right now to just keep it together, and I feel bad that I am not giving this to Jesus my higher power and at peace with this I just feel like my life’s a complete mess and it’s just not worth living it anymore.

So anyone please anything true you can share with me please do any hope I can get right now would be life saving.

Also believers pray for a miracle here job wise I’ve applied to like 400 jobs and I have over 10 years of solid professional experience yet nothing is panning out

#2

I can’t imagine the stress you’re going through. It’s good that you’re putting yourself out there though. One day at a time and one moment at a time. Keep applying and go to workforce centers, they may help even if it’s getting temp jobs at the moment. I know some help with resources such as rent money but that will only help temporarily..again, keep applying and I’d go to a workforce center. And also, I’d go to AA meeting to make sure you surround yourself with that sense of community/fellowship that most likely can help you feel that sense of support. Hope I helped some

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#3

I’ve been at the receiving end of a company “restructuring” a few times. It is stressful and sucks. But right now it is definitely an employee market for jobs. Depending on what you do options should be all over.
I am glad you didn’t pick up. Don’t beat yourself up on being 30 and not being where you thought you would be.. we are all just trying to navigate this thing called life. Keep moving forward and doing the next right thing and you will be good.

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