Last night I Fell to my cravings, I knew that I was facing a difficult weekend, as it is the anniversary of the loss amid my aunt who was the most important person ton my life, the loss of a pregnancy, and the loss of a good friend-Who’s body I found. All within 2 weeks of each other. I went to. Meeting last night came
Home and felt so alone and uncomfortable with feelings , I did what by I do best, reach for a drug to give me a false sense of being okay.
I am mortified but the amount of Merh I slammed in only a few hours. I’m not sure one can OD on meth, if it’s possible then I am concerned that I am. The shame and remorse I am
Feeling. Is gut wrenching. I dont want to hurt the people I still have in my life by telling them all this, but I need support and help.
First try to relax. I drink alcohol and today is my first day on this app and I’m trying to not drink anymore. Last several nights I didn’t sleep well then I would lay there worrying I’ve hurt myself. Checking my heart rate etc But I know it’s just anxiety. When we think too much the anxiety gets the best of us. Our minds are very powerful. Try to find something to occupy your mind. A movie or a book. Call someone and talk. Don’t let the anxiety take over
Meetings work best for me. Even when I was still relapsing. Having sober support around. Getting a sponsor and starting step work and being honest about my feelings was key to getting sober for me. Also, staying present. I had to not dwell on the guilt of the relapse. I relapsed over having 11 years of continuous sobriety so it took me a while to feel ok to admit it to anyone. Myself personally, have had to attend 5 funerals since New Year’s Eve and I have been extremely depressed and that is why I got on this app. So that I could listen to how other people are living life on life’s terms sober. Well, I have been doing it by going to meetings, talking to my sponsor and working with others and lots of praying even when I don’t mean it or didn’t want to do it. Fake it to you make it baby!!!!
I relapsed after 14 years of sobriety on and drug I never thought I’d touch. Admitting this to my mom has been easier than the idea of admitting it to a full A. A. Meeting. Despite the fact they would probably be the most u understanding, they are one the people you can’t bullish!t. Because you can’t bullhit a bullish!tyer, and we call each other out. I’m not positive I am
Emotionally capable to handle any type of carefontation.
I need to be met with love, understanding, forgiveness and to Be rallied around. I have this fear that I will go to a meeting and come clean and everyone just shakes their head in disbelief and disgusts. Judging me and shaming me. Though met
With some difficultly with people shaming and being hurtful
While asking for help-nothing on group
Level has ever happened. There is no basis in my fear-yet it
Keep me away. 
you’re 100% mm correct. Weather relapsing to
Ready to commit, the safest and most helpful place I could be
Is in an A. A meeting. I just need to have smart feet and start walking
I'm sure that you have phone numbers, Lucy. Try to pick up the phone before "picking up." One can certainly OD on meth! It happens every day. I'm a recovering addict. I'm amazed at the number of meth addicts who have been thru the doors of NA in the past few years. There's also "CMA," because it's reached such epidemic proportions. Keep your chin up.
You’re right. Pick up the phone. I had in my old phone prob 200 A. A. Numbers from all
Over the country. About30 were acquaintances and the thee a was my tribe about 10-15 person who I knew had my back. And i theirs.
Last December I I let my cat running while I ran to potty. Never in a million years wouldn’t I have thought that when I came I came out, that it would be stolen. In it, my purse, with my phone in it. Photos from 20+ years ago :gone. Zero contacts or social media or anything. I kept everything in that fucker and it gone
Though though have made the call before the decision was made-I did reach out to somebody and they took me to the ER. When I am being admitted.
Hey there Lucy was just looking through posts. Hope you’re alright. I’ve lost so many people and had to restart so many times. I’m sorry you’re going through all this. Know you’re not alone and you can make it. Feel free to message whenever.