I have almost 8 months sober and in the past 8 months my best friend has gotten married, I’ve attended another bachelorette party and bridal shower, got another wedding next month, and another super close friend of mine just texted to tell me he’s engaged. I’m having such a hard time constantly putting out the “I’m so happy for you” energy when I’m having the shittiest year of my life. It feels like I’m running on fumes and the more I have to be happy and excited for people the less and less I have for myself. Sitting here tonight really wanting to drink but knowing I’d only feel worse if I did. But still.. how can I be happy for my friends when today I couldn’t even find the energy to get dressed 
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Leslie you’re not alone and it will get better but I know personally how hard it is being in that situation! My Mom passed Dec 2020 and I was so depressed for a while after and literally it seems like all my friends got married the following year. I had 5 weddings along with all the wedding stuff. It was so difficult.. I was happy for them but I just didn’t really feel happy and it’s sucks I wasn’t able to fully enjoy it with them and be myself 
I even messed up one of my friendships by getting drunk bc I was just so uncomfortable in my own skin at the time. Try hard to remember how awesome you are doing staying sober and it really could be worse. Your time/day will come!! In the meantime try hard to be the best version of yourself you can and I’m sure your real friends understand what you’re going through. Prayers for you! 
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Thank you Andrea. This really means a lot. I’m so sorry about your mom and can only imagine how hard it was to smile for your friends after such a loss. And you’re absolutely right, I need to try and be my best self and trust that my friends understand. Prayers for you as well 
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Hi Leslie! Sorry to hear you are struggling. I can see how all of this can be a lot to deal with. Alcohol and drugs messed me up early in life, and thus I got off to a late start in my career and love life. I also watched friends make good money, and settle down with their relationships. Just remember that life is not a race. Everything tends to even out in the end. I did eventually “catch up”, but in the meantime I learned to be happy with myself and my life. In fact, some of the very friends that were getting married earlier, we’re getting divorced when I was getting married lol. Plus, the grass is always greener. My guy friends were envious that I was single and free…plus no in laws lol.
Take this time to heal and get healthy. It’s great that you’re almost 8 months sober. Are you involved in a program? Are you doing any therapy,? What are you doing to help your mental and spiritual growth? Turn the focus back to you and your recovery. Have faith that the universe has a plan for Leslie 
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For me, I realized what I was measuring success against wasn’t important. I don’t need my life to look like someone else’s to find happiness. Rather than looking at what it will take you to be happy try deciding what kind of pain you want in life. What are the struggles you’re willing to make sacrifices for? Deciding to get healthy means you need to eat right, wake up / go to bed earlier so you can workout and get the rest you need. Once you’ve decided what’s worth fighting for in life happiness will come. If you’re constantly searching for it you’ll get what you want eventually but it won’t come with the happiness you were looking for.
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Thanks, Lee. You’re right, I need to focus on my recovery because if I don’t then nothing in my life will ever change. It’s hard to smile and be happy for my friends now but hopefully there will come a day when I’ll want them to smile and be happy for me. Just need to do the work and trust that my time will come.
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Thanks, Ty. It’s hard not to play the comparison game but you’re right, it doesn’t serve us in the end.
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Thanks for sharing this. You are certainly not alone with these thoughts. Its a great reminder for me. It’s something that kicks my a$s once in a while. I need to mindful of not falling into the “society expectations”, and comparisons trap. All the I shoulda coulda woulda bs is so toxic. Social media can add to all of this. I try and stay mindful to all of this on a daily basis, because my default thinking is not healthy.
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Totally agree. I decided to get off social media early in my recovery because I didn’t want to see happy people being happy when I was so miserable. There’s a weird status/competition thing that goes on with these life events and it’s hard not to get sucked into it.