Struggling to find the strength to quit and start recovery, I know this is poisoning my life, health and future the ones I love will only hold on for so long, my kids shouldn't see this side of me.. idk how to reality check myself before its too late and I lose it all and everything I value, choice of drug methamphetamine 3 1/2 months use from last relapse
I definitely recommend you utilize the resources available to you. Have you considered speaking with an addiction counselor or your doctor, or checking into rehab?
Your kids need you sober.
Asking for help is hard. Getting help is hard. You know what's harder? Losing everything and missing out on your kids life.
Take that step, it's almost impossible to do by yourself without some help, reach out to family and friends and ask for help, you'd be surprised at who will be there to help you when you just ask!! I believe in you and your kids do to, I know you do not want to show your kids that side of you, it's time to show them how to be strong and the sober you!!