I have never felt so scared and stupid..i already struggle with my mental health disorders and addiction made it a million times worse.. trying so hard not to self harm or do anything stupid just to get more drugs..I'm seriously scared and i tried rehab but dont wanna go back but dont know if i can do it alone..im alive but I'm not living...
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. It is not unusual for those who abuse substances to have past trauma and/or mental health challenges, like depression, panic attacks, etc. 12 step Program support external help like counseling, talking to medical providers about appropriate medication that’s not addicting. You can always call 988 even if you’re not suicidal feeling because they will help talk with you. That is also what the numbers you get in 12 step meetings are for. It is 3:44 in the morning. I am still awake. It’s menopause. So some people would be fine with getting a phone call. You just have to check with them. So just say call anytime. If that is what they say then you can call anytime. They will have to figure out if that works out for them or not. If they say I have children and I have to get up at 4 AM so please don’t call me after 8 PM then you can respect that as well. But I can tell you as someone who suffers with depression and is in recovery from alcohol and drug dependency, as well as codependency that life just gets better when you work the steps, take care of your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Some days you just have to do the next right thing. Hang in there!