Everyday I’m consumed with thoughts of stopping and every night at the same time I cave. I’m so frustrated with myself. I know I can do hard things
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Hey Lana! Getting and staying sober is not easy. ALL (every single one of us) has struggled with stopping and staying stopped. It’s why we are here. It’s why there are treatment centers, detox centers, recovery programs, meetings etc. Many of us have tremendous will power and fortitude when it comes to other things, but when it comes to alcohol/drugs we can’t control this…it controls us. This doesn’t make us bad people. It’s just that we make up that 15-20% of the population that suffers from the illness of addiction. This is my personal belief. I suggest you get help. Most of us can’t do this alone, nor shouldn’t have to do this alone. It requires a lifestyle change to live a sober life. You will want to meet and be friends with others on this journey. Please do yourself a favor and look into recovery programs.
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Please get help. You don't have to do this alone .
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Have you gone to any meetings to help? Do you have a sponsor? Are you working the steps? Or are you just starting out? There are options and people to help you along the way. You are not alone but you do have to take the first step.
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For me the book 'Alan Carr's quit drinking without willpower' really changed my understanding and my life of Alcohol is your doc then I'd give it a read. If not the principals are similar: the drug is simply a drug that probably doesn't actually provide the benefit you seek although we can convince ourselves it does, and so you can choose things to put on your body that do bring positive effects.
Hey Lana, this all depends on how badly you want to and/ or need to quit. Some of us need to wait until desperation, some can see it coming and get off the descending elevator before it hits the bottom floor. I sent you a friend request
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Hey. Familiar feeling. Beat it often. But feel really guilty when we don’t. Don’t have all the answers. But feels really good the next morning when we beat that urge the night before (against all odds). Chalk up my losses, but also try to work towards more wins. Because I can. And you can too
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I appreciate this deeply I feel so close. And I know I can do it.
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If you can't stop on your own have you considered going into a treatment center?
Maybe you need to go into a treatment center for a couple of months and get a jump start on how things work in the world of sobriety.
Failure is part of the learning process. The path to sobriety is not a one size fits all. Keep trying. Never give up. Thats what works.
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I felt this way when I first wanted to quit, it took going to aa to really help me, good luck
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You never have to pick up or drink again. It’s your choice. Get to a meeting or an online meeting.
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I used to go to meetings as a kid with my alcoholic mother. I know they are helpful for some. But for me I’m scared. I heard horror stories as a child. The rooms themselves are somewhat triggering.
I would love too but have no idea how to carve that into my life
Some might say to pray. Maybe go to meetings. Etc etc. I'll just say to not give up. You may slip. Don't beat yourself up. You'll find what works for you. It may not be today or the next day. The fact that you want to quit is a huge step so be proud of that. I'll say honesty has been the most important thing for me. Be honest when you're hurting, struggling, feeling alone and even when you're celebrating the small milestones. It's ok to be down and it's ok to be happy.
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Thank you for this. It hit home in a big way. 
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I truly understand what you are going thru. I have been there myself. Please just get into detox for a starter. Look into a sober living environment after that. Get into the AA program, attend meetings and please get a sponsor. It works trust me.
Chin up.
I tried a few times to stop and couldn’t. Then I lost everything I had worked hard for. 25 plus years of drinking. I was on my way to live an alcoholic death. I’m grateful today to be an alcoholic. I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. I have gone through an entire psychic change.
Lana I am at the same place you are. Let's connect and help each other!!
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