Struggling to stay sober

Struggling Help
#1

Tomorrow will be my first day sober if everything goes to plan. Tonight I just witnessed the pain I’ve put my family through. In my drug induced haze I could not remember or even feel guilt or shame until mow. It pained me to see my dad cry (he never cried) and was hitting himself.
I never want to put him through the pain again. I keep saying sorry but sorry means nothing at this point.

I don’t know how to repair my relationship with my family. I keep hurting them and it’s still not enough to stop.

I just wish I had that complete want and surrender to be sober

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#2

Definitely get a support system and sober circle immediately
AA is not for everyone me included
I found this app
I also reached out to the couple sober people I did know which led me to others

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#3

you just got to do it it's sober or die at this point they want you to live why don't you want to live too??

2 Likes
#4

Work on you! Make yourself the priority. As you start to feel better and heal your family relationships will improve. They just want you to get better. I'm doing the same thing foe me.

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#5

Ana, welcome to sobriety. This new found journey isn’t going to be easy but it well worth it. I can feel your pain from the words you wrote. I too put my family and friends through agony. My life isn’t the same today. I’m divorced, live with my dad on the weekends and gamma and aunt during the week(work). I’m very grateful I have mended my relationships with family and friends. It took 2-1/2 years of sobriety to see my part and to forgive those that hurt me too. I recommend finding a program that works for you. I’m actively working the AA program. It’s changed my life. I have friends! I have a new life. One that is filled with joy, sadness, fun and lots of work. Most importantly I have tools to use when life gets hard. I’ve learned how to be a human and not be so dang selfish. I found my purpose, to help others that want my help.
All of this was achieved by changing everything about what I thought I knew about life and myself. I get to show up and be of service.
Hang in there my friend! Life gets better. Relationships heal, people come and go. The beauty in it all is we don’t have to be angry anymore. I’ll pray for your healing. I’ll pray for you to become open to the changes needed to live a joyous and free life. Have a blessed day filled with love and peace within.

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#6

you can do it sister. they love you and care - so it hurts everyone involved. sober support groups help. i’m in denver and about to find one myself

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#7

Hey I just started this recovery group called The transitions. I have to start group meetings and AA meetings which never really cared for! Hi nd I sta

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